Spider Dishonesty

Alright, I’m still on my quest to befriend spiders – you know, because that would be a proud achievement – and it was going so well, until a couple of days ago. My quest is simple; as long as spiders do not make me see them or bite me, they live. The other night…that didn’t happen.

I first spotted this…being…in the bathroom. I did not think much of it, because I was literally minding my own ‘business.’ For the first time, I was not scared of – okay, we’ll name this spider, Renzo – Renzo, I chose to let it go, because I thought he would run and never come back.

I went back into my room and there he was, in the middle of the floor. Why? I don’t know. For all I know, he wanted to slow dance with me – there there Ellie, don’t be so full of yourself, you think a spider wants to get it on with you – but there he was, full of pestilence, staring and creepy-crawling. Now, he rests under my shoe. I was not sorry at that moment, but I regretted it in the end. I’m going to try to do better next time. Hey! At least, I don’t freak out anymore…heh…

My friend says killing a spider is 20 years of bad luck. Add that to my broken mirrors, me walking under ladders. I should be dead by now!

Spiders: Nature’s way of flipping you the bird.

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

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Celebrate with fireworks photos!

I found these fireworks pictures I took a while ago. A lot of people are enjoying this St. Patrick’s Day, but I believe everyday should be a celebration. Still, here’s some fireworks to -hopefully- inspire you :). If you’re not into dyeing your hair green, pretending to be a tall leprechaun, or trying to steal their luck, find another excuse to celebrate! We all have accomplishments. So, cheers to your past, present, and future successes!

My accomplishment from last night: I killed a spider in less than 5 minutes.

What I hope to accomplish: I hope to be able to lure spiders into a cup and throw them outside, so I won’t have to ruin my shoes squish them.

PS: I’ll post the last part of my short story, “Laura’s Closet” tomorrow :). I’ve been trying to get back to my Ontario personal schedule (I go back to work next month).

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© Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to  Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. In addition, ‘Shares’ on social media may be used, providing full and clear link/credit is added.

Totally not owned by spiders…NOT.

My first blog post was about spiders. No, I’m not a masochist. I just wanted to talk about my fear of spiders. If you haven’t read it, here it is: https://worldruler007.wordpress.com/2014/01/12/totally-owned-by-spiders/

Well, let me tell you that another spider came for a visit today. I’m now certain these spiders have some unhealthy love obsession with me. This creature appeared out of nowhere. It’s almost as if it teleported itself to my room (as if its presence wasn’t scary enough).

It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Perhaps, it wanted to ask me out? You know, because it probably hoped I’d be so glad to hold its legs, and skip around town sharing bug popsicles. Oh, the delicacy! I’m actually starting to freak out that spiders are out to get me, in a romantic way. But, whatever romantic intentions this particular spider may have had, I crushed them…literally. Surprisingly, I was able to “get rid of it” faster than the last time (no, I’m not starting to enjoy killing spiders).

How exactly did I achieve this? Raid spray? Vacuum? Nope. My choice of weapon was my shoe. Wait, I lied. I grabbed the broom first, hoping to squish it with the top of the stick, because the spider was preparing to attack hiding in the corner. I began to approach, and when I got close enough, something odd happened. In some sort of weird spider death wish, it positioned itself in the middle of the wall, thus allowing me to grab my shoe to…SPLAT! It didn’t even try to make a run for it.

The spider died, and I realized, I had just broken its heart, literally! It probably came with the best of intentions (at the time my brain prevented me from seeing this), and what was my first reaction? “Oh, NOOO, not YOU again!” Come to think of it, I didn’t even friendzoned it. I just squished it. No warnings. Well, I did warn it with my broom, though. Someday I hope to be able to grab a newspaper and throw the spider outside.

Tell me I’m not starting to sympathize with spiders…

Spider casualities to date: 10000000000000000000000000000000000000

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^^^ this isn’t a spider. I wouldn’t post such photo for you guys :p. But, I thought it might put a smile on your face 😀

Of course! The world does rule me today!

Totally owned by spiders

Spiders. Spiders. Spiders. Have you started to shiver, yet? Has a total commotion unravelled in your brain, with thoughts of the many hours/years you spend TRYING to get rid of them? Oh, the goosebumps! You’d think that with the years, my fear of spiders would disappear…WRONG. Yes, I am wiser (or so, I tell myself every time I wake up, in fear of feeling like a total failure), but I am still a spider coward.

Do you know how many spiders have I encountered? STOP now. If you fear spiders the way I do, you know that was a trick question. Who in the world has time to count spiders when you look at them? My first reaction is to find high or low ground, or to move (the let’s-populate-mars-with-humans project sounds good just about now, doesn’t it?). Then, I ask myself one question, “Is this spider big enough to throw a fit and panic?” The answer is always a yes. A spider is always of unnatural size. “Baby” spider? Yea, right. My brain only sees it as the size bigger than TrES-4. So, I go through various time-consuming steps:

For the sake of this example, I’ll name this imaginary (wish they were all imaginary) spider, Grain. Yes, I do tend to name spiders, and don’t ask me why, because I don’t know. Let’s pretend Grain decides to arrive right before bedtime:

Step One: I check to make sure Grain is still there. I stare for 80 minutes. You know, because that will somehow help my fear…

Step Two:  Grain is  moving its legs! Creepy. Nauseating.

Step Three: I’m starting to get fond of Grain! Is this some spider spell?

Step Four: There is no way I’m getting sleep tonight. It’s building  a web!!!!!!!!

Step Five: Grain is doing this on purpose! Time to get the broom!

Step Six: I’ve been standing for 120 minutes trying to figure out how to squish it, without getting too close. I notice the end of the broom isn’t big enough to squish it. Bah! I’ll use my shoe.

Step Seven: Which shoe do I use? I don’t want to leave a mark on them.

Step Eight: 1 hour and I couldn’t find a proper shoe to use for this occasion. Why is Grain still here, anyway? It’s been so long! I bet Grain knows I’m afraid and is laughing at me from that corner.

Step Nine: A book, a towel, a paper, box, I don’t want to use any of those things. It’d mean I’d get too close! I’m hungry and sleepy. I’ll grab some old flip-flop. Great! I moved and Grain moved! Forget the flip-flop.

Step Ten: I’ll get the vacuum and release Grain into the front yard. Well, not really, but I don’t want Grain to read those thoughts.

Step Eleven: Vacuum, check! My soul, check! This is it! I will be able to take a quick nap before my alarm wakes me up!

Step Twelve: Where’s Grain?

Of course! The world still rules me.

 

 

 

© Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to  Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. In addition, ‘Shares’ on social media may be used, providing full and clear link/credit is added.