Poetry: Could it be?

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Luscious eyes of apparent hope

brightening the soul 

with comforting notes

Could it be?

~~~

Insightful perception of routinely paths

captivated by the chance of greeting

such splendid emotion

Could it be?

~~~

 Lost once, lost twice, 

do not desert hope

allow destiny to flow

Could it be?

~~~

If laughter came upon

are we to recant what could be?

A broken piece cannot always be mended twice

Could it be?

 

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Poem – Jumbled Soul

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Jumbled Soul

When wrapped in screaming thorns

where the light is blocked by solitude 

trials with abundant errors

without the will of recouping hope

~~~

The enervate emotion of a jumbled soul

perpetuates its most splendid wishes

to dangle from its potential fulfilment

and falsely misinform its heart and mind

~~~

Without the effort to console its true destiny

it dissipates from its surroundings

eluding its self-worth 

and endangering its serendipity 

~~~

It must pause and rely on instinct

and cautiously proceed onto the next path

embracing its perspective

as to attain its safest pace

~~~

 

 

 

 

Undo – A to Z challenge

A to Z challenge, letter: U

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Undo

Sometimes I wish I had an ‘undo’ button, but wouldn’t life make no sense with it? If you could undo every bad moment, and every mistake, we would never move on from what we are meant to learn by making those mistakes. Of course, sometimes you may need that button, but it’s best not to have the temptation to use it all the time. How could you grow as a person if you keep rewinding what you don’t want to face? Our souls and bodies were created to have the ability to evolve and become better, but not perfect. It’s always good to go back and remember those painful memories, in order to use it to help someone or yourself, and withstand the chaos that surrounds us. If we ‘undo’ there is no moving forward. We’d be stuck in an infinite loop, and wouldn’t be able to realize our potential. Our reality would become a comfort zone, without the will to explore the greatness out there that we could be missing out. I wish I could undo my loved ones’ death, but I know I can’t, and it’s best to know that I can’t. Power can become your destruction, perfection can feel like your best friend, but be your worst enemy. There would not be a tomorrow, and we would miss out on new opportunities, and we would live in a past, and lose our present.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Poem – Visit

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Why have you not visited me again

she has many times

I need to hear you one more time

Tell me to live in peace

she has many times.

~~~

My emotions fall like dominoes

your presence can stop them

why can’t you visit me

she has many times

tell me, I want to understand

~~~

Is it that you’re here, but I can’t feel you?

The essence of her perfume has appeared

but yours, just once, if anything

why can’t you visit me

and relive the seen horizons

and the pebbles thrown in the water

~~~

Just once, I know you are fine

I need to know

you told me once you’d be here

is it because I really am okay?

why can’t you visit me,

she has many times

I live in peace

but say it to me one more time.

~~~

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Obscure Mentality – A to Z Challenge

A to Z challenge letter: O

 

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Obscure Mentality

We’re all guilty of having an obscure mentality at some point in our lives. Many times we don’t feel worthy of receiving well-deserved awards, and it is thanks to that lack-of-confidence demon that lurks when it shouldn’t. We must believe that it is perfectly fine to be rewarded for our hard work – hence the word itself – we work hard and therefore, we earn our own rewards. We make (I hope) an honest living and others notice when we’re genuine, and even though there are others who may look like they’re not happy for us, they really are. Do not be disappointed, but be proud and grateful for the good opportunities you receive.

We’re also guilty of having an obscure mentality towards our bodies and souls. We’re all unique and imagine what the world would be like if we all looked the same. Boring, right? You’re beautiful, and while not everyone will be attracted to you, that does not mean you’re ugly. To be honest, I would not like it if every guy out there fell for me, but that’s just me. In my opinion, the right person will initially be drawn to you by the way you look – and that doesn’t mean that only happens when you are wearing something special or ten pounds of make up – but because this person was destined to fall for you at any time. Remember, the right person will be impressed by the way you look, but will fall in love with you for your soul. Do not force anything to happen, nor chase the ones you like, because that may divert you from your true destiny.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Poetry: Heal

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Delicacy of sweet lips

adorn my soul in glistening notes

beyond conundrum

on a path of petals

and windy salute

~~~

In the woods where branches meet

she carves her loss

with a punctured heart

and liberating sorrows 

she must try

~~~

Numb from all feelings

a beaming sun ray caresses her doubts

in conjunction with revelations

she faces the opposite

she finds a new horizon

~~~

Aboard her destiny she sets forth

glancing upon tomorrow

abandoning the sorrows

and dancing to no limits

she heals

 

 

Daily Prompt: Green-eyed Lady

They ask: We all get jealous from time to time — what wakes the green-eyed monster for you?

Daily Prompt: Green-eyed lady

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Oh, heck! I think I’ve just felt the wrath of the green-eyed monster. It is a foggy and rainy day and yes, I’m jealous of whatever city has warm and sunny weather :p. In all seriousness, I think us humans will always feel jealousy, there is no way to change it 100%; however, it is definitely possible to control it and lessen the reasons why we become jealous. When I was younger —a long time ago. I’m 26 now — most of my classmates had plastic multifunction pencil cases, which were extremely popular then. I wanted one. How could I not have one and my friends could, right? I was determined to get it and tried to convince my mum to get me one. My mum, being the good parent that she is, explained how the pencil cases were not very convenient due to lack of space, but I didn’t want to listen. During our trip to purchase school supplies for the next school year, my mum found the multifunction pencil case, and before we purchased anything, she showed me the one she recommended (bigger and practical) and the one I wanted. Are you sure you prefer the plastic one? She asked, hoping to convince me not to get it. Yes! Please! Please! She asked me a few more times, but failed to change my mind. Well, she ended up buying it. You’d think that she was spoiling me, that she bought it to shut me up (I was a chatterbox so I wouldn’t blame her), but she was on a quest to teach me a lesson (I was old enough for it).

When we got home I opened it, but I didn’t transfer my supplies from my old pencil case. Instead, I wanted to flaunt it at school. I didn’t want to brag, I just wanted to let everyone know I had one, I was cool like them. Sure enough, my classmates loved my new pencil case and before class started, I decided to fill it with my pencils and erasers. You should have seen me, proudly grinning at the fact I got what everyone had. Then, it faded. Wait, how come nothing fits in here, I thought. I’ll make them fit. I know what I’m doing. How come nothing fits in this THING. Ugh.

At the end of the school day, my mum picked me up, and I exited the school doing the walk of shame. How was your day? She knew something happened by the look of my face. Ok, but the pencil case didn’t work. Can we exchange it for another one? I whispered. Same one? She asked. No, the one you showed me. She told me there was a chance they wouldn’t do the exchange, after all I really wanted the plastic pencil case. But, we returned to the store and my mum asked me to do the talking. Yea, hmm, I..I..want to exchange this? I asked. Want? Mum stared. May I exchange this? I asked again. Luckily, they let me do the exchange. As soon as I got home, I transferred all of my supplies to the new pencil case, and I was happy. My mum told me that there are times we want to do what other people do or what they have, but I shouldn’t strive to obtain things because I want them and to follow others. In addition, I should find what works for me and what I like. Sure, I liked the pencil case, but only because my peers had it, and it was not useful in any way. But, she reminded me that we all live differently and should be grateful for what I currently have. Also that we don’t know what life has given other people, and we don’t know why they have certain things or why they lack. She mentioned kids who don’t even get a chance to go to school,or even have the supplies to help them.

That does not mean I suddenly stopped being jealous and lived in everlasting perfection, but it stuck with me and I did learn a valuable lesson out of a pencil case situation. I don’t remember if it was that year or the years after, but during one Christmas I received two of the same toy, and I clearly remember as soon as I received them, I told my parents I wanted to donate one of them. A few days later, we paid a visit to some children and I gave them the toy. I helped them assemble it and they looked very happy. It felt so good to give back and I haven’t forgotten it to this day.

Of course, I still get jealous of certain things, I’m not perfect and I don’t expect to be. However, I have learned to control certain aspects of jealousy and whenever I get jealous, I tell myself the Blessings I have in my life at that very moment. Yes, it is hard, because you also look into the past and wonder what could’ve happened or what you could’ve had, but we must remember that those thoughts damage your soul. Everyone is different, and we must find the key that helps up bring ourselves back to our reality. As much as that reality may be grey, we still have a light inside all of us. Instead of looking backwards, look forward to the next day in your life, not in others’.

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

Countless Power – A to Z Challenge

Today’s A to Z challenge letter is ‘C’

 

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Countless Power

“Cannot” is a word we frequently use, sometimes when we shouldn’t. There are times we fail to see our “Countless power,” and I’m not talking about magical powers or a variety of sorcery. I’m talking about the ability to see our capabilities as human beings and as ourselves; it is a tool that we can use to heal the rough patches we must face. Realistically speaking, we will be led through unwanted roads, where we will need to rely on our inner power to escape. As it pertains to all of us, there is no way to predict such circumstances; however, why are we so fearful and non-confident?

We mustn’t be, we are warriors fighting for our happiness, and everyday we write our own melodies and stroll through our self-made routes. It’s time we  believed in ourselves, not because life is too short, but because we were born to be confident in your own skin and personality. It is not our fault for the anxiety inflicted in you by evildoers, but it is our duty to ensure we seek our freedom. We have countless reasons to move forward, and countless “gadgets” inside of us. For example, the gift of laughter; there is always something that makes us laugh, and it is true that laughter is the best medicine. Self-doubt only ignites unworthy and unloving feelings, and we must remember that just by fact we want to do good in this world, is enough reason to believe that we are good.

Struggles is what makes us stronger, and we cannot avoid it.You shouldn’t use the word ‘cannot’ so often, but you should still use it. Why? Because you learn from it, and it gives you a chance to explore new adventures, only as long as you’re not hurting yourself and others. Say, “I cannot” and add “but I will try”. You never know what doors will open, unless you take one step forward and try. You can live to laugh, and love to live, the roads can be everlasting.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Short Story: Laura’s Closet – Part Five (last one).

Here’s the last part of my less-than-two-week short story project called, “Laura’s Closet”. I do wish I had spent a bit more time on it, but it served its purpose, which was to let go and just write. It was inspired by a conversation me and two of my good friends had during my vacation back home in Vancouver. As always, I hope it inspires you in some way! Do not be afraid to just write and let go.

I’m working on another short story called, “Jehmers Donsriell’s Bequest”. I’m working on it more than “Laura’s Closet,” because it is a story I started a long time ago and never finished. I feel very good about it, which is why I want to spend a good time crafting it. There is no date when I’ll post it, because I’m not done, yet. Below is an excerpt I posted a while ago. After that, you can find all the parts of “Laura’s Closet”. Enjoy!

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Jehmers Donsriell’s bequest

She felt its sharp teeth crumbling her skin, but not a tear was shed. She was paralyzed, but she could still feel the harrowing pain, slowly rising inside her body. It absorbed any energy that she had left, and she felt hopeless. She clung to the wooden floor with her black long nails, as a last attempt to escape, scratching her way out of her own despair. It wasn’t long before her hair decayed, and her teeth began to dust from the rusty toxic wind that blew on her face. Her lungs began to collapse, as she tried to escape her imminent downfall. At last, she caught what would be, her final breath. The only thought in her mind, was regret…

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Laura’s Closet – Part One

Laura’s Closet – Part Two

Laura’s Closet – Part Three

Laura’s Closet – Part Four

Laura’s Closet – Part Five (final)

(continued)

Despite her efforts, Elena didn’t strip her off her power. Instead, she gave her a second one, the power of premonition.

Although relieved to have the power of seeing what she had been searching, it didn’t feel real.  She thought her rant to Elena was brutal enough to leave her powerless and without answers. Even though, she was speechless, she nodded and smile with gratitude. Then, Elena blinked and left, and Laura found herself in her bed, awakening early morning on the following day. “Was it all a dream?” She thought.

She sat on her bed for a few minutes, palpitating, touching everything around her, waiting for something to happen. Her eyes were sore as if she hadn’t slept for days, and a cold sweat spread throughout her body.  She placed her hand on her forehead and lied back down again. By the time she got up again, a couple of hours had passed.  She felt much better and didn’t want to waste more time. She quickly got ready and left to find Alliese and Sonia.

Before she left her building, she noticed it was pouring rain, but she had an umbrella ready. She experienced some déjà vu, but her suspicious were not confirmed, until she saw her neighbour approach. “This is a lot of rain. I should go back for an umbrella. Why is it that no one can predict such weather?” He said. She struggled to say something back, still in shock at the realization that she went back to the past. Or, did she? Could this have been the “truth” Elena was talking about?

She knew what was supposed to happen next; her meeting with Alliese and Sonia, to tell them about Mother Nature (now Elena). She stayed in the building’s lobby, and tried to contact them. But, something wasn’t right. She couldn’t find their numbers. She restarted her phone as an attempt to recover their numbers – she figured her cell phone had just crashed. However, all of her attempts had failed. She remembered she had the numbers written by her home phone. So, she went back upstairs to check –she knew their phone numbers, but for some reason she couldn’t remember.

She went inside her apartment, and noticed she didn’t have the numbers written anymore. “Something is definitely wrong here,” she said. She pinched herself a few times, just in case she was just dreaming. Everything seemed to be in order; except for the fact Alliese and Sonia were nowhere to be found. She felt lightheaded and slowly sat down on the couch, feeling like someone just tied a knot inside her throat. She took a few deep breaths; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. She paused, noticing her laptop was on with an opened document. She took careful steps towards it, and came to a full stop once she was close enough to read what it said. Her widened eyes glanced at the screen, and her breathing increased heavily.

Her whole life appeared to have been typed. Alliese and Sonia were not her friends; they were two personalities of Laura that she created in her mind, to cope with the fact she did die at the hands of the killer she ran from in the woods. Suddenly, she was transported back to the woods, at the same spot where she met Elena for the first time. Elena could not explain the circumstances, because Laura still had something to learn. But, she talked about Alliese and Sonia as being two of Laura’s biggest worries within herself. They became alive to her, because they were parts of Laura that needed to find their own resolution.  Laura’s reaction was as expected; she froze solid where she stood, and it took her a while to let go of the denial. She was trying to retrace her steps, and kept track on what happened before and how it all fitted together, but she had to grasp the idea of not being part of the world anymore. She retreated into the woods, and asked Elena to let her cope with her new destiny on her own. She was defeated by her own fears in life, but she was going to figure out how not to let them win her over in death. Even though, it was not under the best circumstance, Laura started listened to her soul for the first time.

Elena was going to let her discover a new world for herself, and for now, she wasn’t going to tell her that she was not dead.

 -The End…or is it?-

© Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to  Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. In addition, ‘Shares’ on social media may be used, providing full and clear link/credit is added.

Is love too much to ask for?

The world’s lack of true love perforates my mind and soul. Have we become hermits from the fear of loving endlessly, or have we been too damaged that we’ve given up on love? 

Perhaps it is our desire to love, not because we want all the love for ourselves, but because we’re selfless. We become excited at the idea of sharing our passions, thoughts, and struggles, that we become blind to those who will end up inflicting pain, and shattering our hearts into a million pieces. How long can one withstand glueing these fallen pieces, until one collapses in despair, wishing for love to disappear?

What is it that scares people away? Is it that one is perhaps too good, it becomes intimidating? Or do they fear, they’ll give up their own desires? Is it that they/we are afraid of a perfect world; here there’s no wrongdoing, where there’s no pain, where there’s no despair?

These questions shouldn’t even be asked. But there’s hope, we’ll all find the love we’re looking for; romance, friendship, family, nature, the universe. 

Fear should not be in the same place as love, and love shouldn’t replace your past, present, and future. It is what helps us stick together, it is a band of unity and comfort that’s there to remind us, we mean something to someone, or that we mean good for someone or something. It shouldn’t be hard to love, and it should be simple to take a leap of faith. It becomes tiring wishing, praying, hoping that the love we share will reciprocate. 

Is love too much to ask for? Is an answer too much to hope for? 

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