Luxury – A to Z challenge

A to Z challenge letter: L

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Luxury

Luxury to me is not about materialism, but about the jewels of the heart. Even though, I have experienced many heartbreaks. I still hold on to my good memories and I am happy to say I do live a luxurious life. thanks to my upbringing. I did not find out what I’m about to share with you, until I was older. My grandpa was diagnosed with cancer when I was little and the doctors only gave him a 2% (if I remember the number correctly) chance of survival. Back then, my family owned a few properties, meaning we were financial stable. not rich I may add. My mum and grandma had a choice to make, which took them less than a second to agree on a decision; they were going to sell it all and fight the cancer battle alongside my grandpa. Sure enough, he made a miraculous recovery and went on to live a fruitful life. Had they chose not to selfless give up their material possessions, I would not have had the chance to get to know the wonderful man my grandpa was. He was a father figure to me and for that I am extremely grateful. I often wonder how I would’ve turned out had he not lived so long. Would I have been spoiled? Well, not that I wasn’t, after all grandparents will always be grandparents, it is their duty to spoil their grandchildren :p. But, would my soul be capable of being so thankful today? I don’t know how the death of my grandpa would’ve affected us then. My mum had a very Faithful upbringing, so I don’t think I would’ve turned out bad, but I do wonder sometimes. Their love for my grandpa and the selfness to come to his aid when they needed him most, are the acts of love in my life that have left a luxurious impact in my heart. They loved him, they saved him, they saved me. Sadly, my grandpa passed away last year, on May 27th, after losing a battle with cancer. He was 85. But he fulfilled his destiny and left an amazing legacy for me to continue.

Luxury isn’t always material possessions, but memories preserved as jewels in your heart.

<3<3<3 Love, Ellie <3<3<3

Here comes the waterfalls

There was a question asked by another blogger, about whether or not I have any good memories. It triggered a memory of my grandparents during the Christmas holidays. My maternal grandparents were like second parents, I grew up alongside them. There is a lot to tell about my life with them, but I’ll share a few stories.

Whenever I went to my grandparents’ house, I was always willing to help. I remember accompanying my grandma to the nearby market to get fresh groceries. We would stop by the juice bar and drink healthy blends. That’s probably the reason why I love to drink natural juices :p. Everyone at the market knew her by name; she was their number one customer and was always greeted with kindness. Actions do speak louder than words, and witnessing the love others had for her, helped me shape into the person I am today. There is a reason why they were kind to her, and that was because she always showed respect for everyone, regardless of race and social class, she treated everyone the same. Otherwise, why were they so nice to her? They even gave her great deals. Her way of living taught me to treat everyone the way I want to be treated —of course, I learned this from my mum, as well, but I just want to focus on my grandma at the moment — with respect and kindness. Ever since, everywhere I go, I always greet with a smile and ask questions in a polite manner. What’s sad is that some people seem surprised by such actions. It’s as though good manners have gone straight to the depths of a sewer; is it that uncommon?

Her love made me want to love others, and it made me want to do something special for her. I did a lot of special things, but I remember one Christmas when my sister and I decided to pick our favourite stuffed animals, and gave it to them as Christmas presents. For a child to give away their favourite stuffed animals, is like me giving up Lord of the Rings right now (never going to happen). But, that’s who she was and that’s who I wanted to be.

It was in 2007 on my 20th birthday when I last spoke to her. Of course, I didn’t know at the time that it would be the last time. It felt like an ordinary day, we talked about life and she said her usual “beware of the wolves (bad guys)” and “always cherish your parents.” I didn’t notice at the time, but our good-bye before I hung up the phone was the longest we’ve ever shared. I kept repeating good-bye, good-bye, bye, love you, bye, good-bye, God Bless. I sounded like a broken record. Two days later, I came home to find out she had a stroke. I reacted the way anyone would, in disbelief. She sounded so coherent, like her usual self, was it a joke? I honestly thought it was a cruel joke, and I would’ve preferred it being a cruel joke than a reality. She was in the hospital with my grandpa by her side everyday (what a trooper). The doctors said she couldn’t hear anything anyone said, but when I called and spoke to her, my uncle told me she started to cry. To me, that meant the world. Why? Because I did not get a chance to say good-bye in person. I did not get a chance to give her a kiss in her forehead or squeeze her tight with a bear hug, just like I imagined. I was upset, I was terrified, I was in shocked. She passed away in the days after my last phone call.

The thing is, I understand why nothing worked out so that I would be able to say good-bye in person. I understood deep down that she wanted me to remember her in life, not the way she was leaving this world. I don’t have that memory in my head, of her in a hospital bed. I remember her joyful and Faithful soul, dancing through her apartment, laughing and enjoying life. That’s who she was, and that’s how her legacy continues.

She passed away on October 12th, 2007. My grandpa joined her on May 27th, 2013.

I will talk more about them, but I had to get this out of my chest. I was feeling a bit nostalgic. I miss them. I miss them a lot.

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Emotions – A to Z challenge

The letter for today: E

A to Z challenge

 

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Emotions

Anger

Love

Fear

Sadness

Joy

Trust…

All of us have one thing in common, emotions. How’s that for an icebreaker? Have you ever been afraid? happy? heartbroken? sad? We all have, more so than others, but we have experienced different emotions nonetheless. Being able to feel emotions are not a bad thing, even though we might think so at times. They help us vent and recover from expected and unexpected events in our life. I’ll speak for myself, but after a good cry, I feel like I can rule the world. When I feel sad, I feel like locking myself away for eternity; however, those moments help me have a closer look at my life and make changes if I must. I’m not saying I like those emotions, but I try to get rid of them as soon as possible. While emotions like ‘fear’ and ‘sadness’ are often unexpected, you can turn them into a positive and conquer them.

Do you ever feel like locking away certain feelings? I know I do. Sometimes I still lock them away, either due to embarrassment or fear of feeling vulnerable. But, you see, you should not be afraid to share your emotions. Lock them away for a bit until you figure out what to do, but let them go at some point. When you put things away for a long time, you forget about them, but they’re still there. If you lock away say, anger, it will consume you and will remind you that it’s there when you are at your most vulnerable. Take your time, of course, but face your emotions, because there are a lot of opportunities out there. Love and Joy are the easiest and most rewarding emotions, and I don’t mean ‘love’ only in a romantic way, but in friendship. It is true when they say, “Love conquers all”.

In the spirit of emotions, here’s a line full of friendship love for all my fellow bloggers:

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Daily Prompt: Singing the Blues

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/28/prompt-singing-the-blues/

Overall, I’m a happy person, even when I don’t want to admit it. It is not always easy for me to find a solution when I start singing the blues. But, first of all, I can’t sing, so I know it’s all metaphorical, but that’s already set me up for failure :p. It depends a lot on why such sadness was sung. If it’s because of my “day of the month,” and want to defeat the cramp demon, I just take a pain reliever and watch movies all day, and if I have to work, then I just go to work and suck it up.

That seems fairly simple, right? But, how about when sudden sadness kicks it? Yes, I do visit Robery Downey Jr.’s facebook page and drool at all his greatness, while I rock back and forth drinking tea, shedding tears of joy and pain all at the same time. That’s when my body decides to join in my frustration, and releases a war of a thousand cravings simultaneously stabbing me until I take charge. I binge on ice cream and potato chips, and if I didn’t hate myself enough at that moment, sometimes I go and buy a burger. You’d think that would help. Wrong. The next day I feel guilty for eating all the junk and become sad that I now have to workout a bit more than usual. But, then again, working out helps, right? Yes, unless your muscles are sore, because the food guilty made you try an intense class you haven’t done in a while. You get the idea, it’s a whole fire that you can never put out.

My solution now, is just to keep it simple and live with no regrets, as a method of avoiding singing the blues. If I feel like eating popcorn, I go and make popcorn and not worry whether it’s too early or too late to eat it. Basically, live your life in moderation and without hurting yourself and others. If you feel like going for a walk, then go for a walk. So what if it’s rainning? If it’s warm enough, get an umbrella and a jacket and go out. If you don’t have the right gear, go out anyway, let the rain fall on you and run back home and take a shower. I’ve lived in Vancouver, I know all about rain.

It’s about remembering how to enjoy life again. I listen to Enya when I write and when I feel down. I watch Lord of the Rings for inspiration. I read when I want to vent anger, because a lot of times you’ll look at other characters’ lives who have it a lot worse than you. Even if I don’t want to read, I grab the book and place it on my face. Be clumsy, be silly, be content. If it means hugging your stuffed animals, then go for it. I pray when I feel cheerful and hopeless, and if you don’t, that’s totally fine, but it works for me. Hey, even my Faith struggles at times and I don’t feel like acknowledging the guy up there. But, this is me. I can’t tell you how to live your life or give you a manual on how to overcome your own sadness.

My advice is do not prepare to be sad or for when you’ll become sad. Live your life right now, the way it feels right for you; laugh with friends, love everyone, go for the hike you’ve always wanted to do, eat that chocolate cake without feeling guilty (you know you want to). Live to the fullest so that you can remind yourself of the beauty in your life, when you feel sad. Everyday, life will bring different challenges and worries, and nothing will ever prepare you for them. I do so many things to cheer myself up, I have lost count. You grow everyday and you’ll deal with struggles in a different way. But, you have people who love you and it is important that you see this.

Bonus: I like to draw hearts a lot <3, and that cheers me up. Every status on my FB starts and ends with 3 hearts.

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤