The beach and childhood

I love marine life, the ocean, sea shells, anything that has to do with water. However, tot only am I not an excellent swimmer, but I haven’t swum in the ocean for quite a while. There is no specific reason as to why, but I think it’s because I like to sit and appreciate the beauty, instead of invading it. I still submerge my feet, just not my entire body. Perhaps, it’s due to my positive childhood memories, and the good advantage I’ve taken of the beach. I don’t know. Maybe, I just got bored of it. After all, I grew up going to the beach and I even went camping on the beach.

My best friend and I used to go to the beach with our mums when we were little, and one day we went to this beach known (but unknown to us) for its high waves. Our mums were getting lunch ready and my friend I went by the shore to collect sea shells and rocks. Being the risk-takers that we were, we decided to go in a bit deeper but we faced our backs towards the waves so we could see our mums. Sure enough, they noticed we were too close to the waves and asked us to go back to the shore, but before we could there, a big wave approached. I remember looking under my legs and my eyes bulging. I yelled, “run” but before we could get ashore, the breaking wave caught up with us. It wasn’t a humongous wave, but it looked very big to us.We were fine, and we laughed it off after the initial scared faded.

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One of my favourite memories is walking on the beach with my late grandparents. We used to buy ice cream and walk on the sidewalk and sand. I remember my grandma and I used to laugh at the fact my grandpa and sister took forever deciding which ice cream to buy.  My grandpa and I would go to the rocks and stone skip into the water. I, of course, picked up the heavy ones because I loved the rippling effect they made in the water. Usually, there weren’t a lot of people nearby, so it was safe to do it. One of the most vivid memories I have of them. I even recall the smells!

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Do you have any good memories of the beach?

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

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Your Legacy

I always say I’m not afraid of dying, but I hope I leave a positive legacy and a published book when I do. When I was younger, I didn’t think too much about this. I just knew I wanted to make a positive impact, but when you’re a teenager you think you’re immortal, and therefore go on to live as if you had a million lives. I’m turning 27 this year (geez, 3 more years and I’m going to be 30. What the heck?), but sometimes I feel like I’m in my early 20’s. I ask myself, have I made a positive impact enough to die without regrets? I hope so, but have I fulfill all my dreams? Not yet. I still have to publish a book and have a family. Will they ever happen? I don’t know, but I know one thing: if my time to pass on came tomorrow, I won’t have any regrets, because everyday I work hard to realize those dreams. Inspiration, published books, and a loving family. I want that to be my legacy.

I found this photo of my late grandparents on their wedding day. Before this day, my grandma spent 3 years in the hospital battling Tuberculosis; she lost part of one lung. During these years, my grandparents sent love letters to each other. They met when they were teenagers and grew old together. She lived 15 years longer than what the doctors had previously told her, and she gave birth to 3 children. Every time I look at their photos, I’m reminded of their legacy; Love, Trust, Faith, Courage, Perseverance. Against all odds, they grew old together. When I was a child, my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and the doctors gave him 5 months to live. He beat it and lived until he was 85. They both suffered and survived together. Their legacies make me not want to complain about anything.

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What legacy do you wish to leave?

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Daydreaming is my unpaid internship

I have shared the first page of my novel with a few friends and family and have received positive feedback. The common question is, “How did you come up with all this? How did you think of the names?” The answer is, daydreams and dreams have become my unpaid internship. I intentionally daydream and dream my entire novel, in order to put realism in it. I’m basically creating the entire world and scenarios in my head, as I go on with my daily life. I can lucid dream, and this allows me to continue working on it while I’m sleep. I don’t know how I do it, but thank goodness I can.

I came up with the name for my main character while I was in the bathroom. It was definitely not my intention to do so, but ideas just come and go, and the name was so good I didn’t want to flush it down the toilet (pun totally intended). I’m not proofreading at the moment, because it is wasting too much time, and I want to make sure I have the story written down. There are a few holes I need to patch, but I have learned not to worry about the final details, in case the plot changes along the way. I have learned to control my daydreaming, because if I want to pay the bills right now, I need to be able to work with society. I used to zone out a lot, but now I only do when I allow myself to do so. It isn’t easy, because my novel is part of my life and it is hard to stop the ideas flowing in, but I’m managing. I have to admit, there are days where it kills me inside when I don’t pay attention to my writing voice, or when I cannot daydream, and it does cause me stress, but I use my days off to let the dreams escape and the words come to fruition on paper (or Word document). It doesn’t make it 100% better, but I have learned to accept it and to be grateful for what I have.

I believe to a certain extent that my daydreaming is a symptom of me being an Empath (read this website) and that’s why I live to dream and shut down if something won’t let me do it. The reason I’m writing this post is because I have discovered this recently (specifically, yesterday). Events in my life finally make sense, dots have been connected. Some people thought I was crazy when I predicted deaths in my family, or when I knew how they felt before they told me what was happening. It is not scientifically proven, but I can tell you all the traits you read on that website are mostly true for me (the meat and antique ones do not apply to me entirely nor depression). But, this probably explains why I don’t do well in crowds and why I don’t like strangers rubbing off on me when they pass by. If I have to be in a crowd, for example when I go out with friends, then I do it without complaining. It doesn’t mean I cry and scream if I’m around too many people, but I get tired by the end of the day. I don’t know where I can go from here, but whether I’m an Empath or not, at least now I know I’m not the only one with those traits :).

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Robert Downey Jr. approves of me!

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

 

Rain? No problem! I have an umbrella…wait, you didn’t mention there’ll be wind!

I’ve given up. The only reason I choose to wear an umbrella is so my cell phone won’t get wet. Ontario has had beautiful weather lately…wait, sorry I was just dreaming. The weather has been warmer, but the rain and wind have come out to play. I get it, we do need rain and wind, sure, but umbrellas are pointless when they occur simultaneously.

 

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I walk a lot and perhaps it is my fault for walking in the rain, but my workplace isn’t too far to justify a drive or transit – Forgive me your Highness Mother Nature for trying to stay healthy – I just would like to come home from work without looking like a traumatized wet cat whose hair looks like it’s been electrocuted by the power of all demons.

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Umbrella size does not matter, I have small, medium, big, giant umbrellas, and the wind will often find a way to destroy them, blow them away, hit me with them, and make me look like a fool in the middle of the street (how did you do it Mary Poppins?). Not to mention passing drivers who can clearly see there’s a puddle in front of them (after seeing the car in front drive through it), on a residential street, and seem to have no consideration of pedestrians. They speed up just to make a fast turn. Seriously, how do they know I love getting splashed by passing speeding cars?

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I know I’m from rainy Vancouver, but please Mother Nature just give me a break :(. I don’t mind the rain when it is warm and not windy, or at least don’t brutalize my umbrella! How am I supposed to live my life to the fullest, if my pockets are full of water? I like to end things on a positive note, and I am thankful I can afford the proper gear, but I feel for those who can’t. I’m going to look into donating rain jackets to those who need it. I encourage you to do the same :), or something similar. I’m not too familiar with charities here, so I’ll have to do my research.

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PS: I hope all of you are doing great :D.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Inspirational – A to Z Challenge

A to Z Challenge letter: i

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Inspirational

This is why I created this blog. I want to pass on the inspiration and help others feel worthy. The only reason I am who I am today is because of all the people who have inspired me since birth. I am not 100% positive all the time, I cry, I laugh, I love, I grief, but I am at a point in my life where I do want to strive to regain all hopes and help others overcome their own fears. It’s easy to dwell in sadness, believe me, to this day I still grieve the loss of my grandparents, the constant trips my dad took during my childhood, the heartbreaks, the lost friendships, my pet hamster, and other struggles I have faced. But, that is all the negative side, and I remember the positive time that created a great balance during my life. For every despair, there were lots of loved ones who showed their genuine support, and friends who were straight forward when I needed them to be.

It is a hard battle to remain positive, but it is not impossible to win. There will always be negative moments to try to keep me down, because that’s exactly what negativity does. I am strong, but sometimes I lack the confidence to believe I am very strong. It happens, right? It is tempting to blame yourself for misery, but if you dwell in it for long, you begin to believe it. Don’t we all want to feel good? Live a happy life? I know I do, and I will keep fighting for my own happiness, even if there are others who will try to tear me down. You should do this, as well. Be happy and confident about who you are, and help others through your anecdotes.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Daily Prompt: Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

The Daily Prompt asks: Tell us your tried and true techniques for focusing when that deadline looms and you need to get work done. In other words, how do you avoid wasted days and wasted nights?

First of all, I don’t drink alcohol, which is the enemy of any deadlines you need to meet. When I was younger, I would often wait until the last minute, and rushed into finishing work I should’ve started weeks or even months ago. I have learned my lesson. I have a different outlook in life now. Back in day it was an immature perspective, and I would try to excuse my failures on the usual “why am I doing this if I won’t use it in the future.” Today, I ask myself, “How can this help me?” And I do it. Depending on how long I have to finish work, I take a bit of time each day, and a lot of time during my days off to accomplish what I set out to do. You can bet Enya will be involved in the process, her music helps me concentrate. I think they key is to understand and remind yourself how can the work you’re doing help you grow as a person and in school/work, instead of complaining and deciding not to finish. There’s always something to learn and we must turn a negative into a positive. 

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Do we run into the same strangers again?

I finally was able to walk to the grocery store today. The sidewalks aren’t icy! I guess Mother Nature is not on PMS anymore. In the middle of my walk, a thought came into my mind. The strangers we walk by or see on a daily basis, do we get to see them again? To be honest, I don’t really notice a lot of people I pass by on a daily basis, so I do wonder if I’ve been passing by them for a long time, or maybe for the first time.

I tend to see a lot of seniors (as in the elderly) if I go to the mall early in the mornings. You see them in groups, in pairs, alone.  How many times have I run into the same seniors? Will I live to be one and look as happy with their friends as they do? I know everyone has a different life, and we all have struggles, but I have yet to see an angry senior while s/he eats breakfast with her/his friends. It’s probably just where I live, or my mind just loves to play tricks. Oh well…

I like to think we will all stop running into unpleasant people, but that will never change. For every person that makes a positive change, there is a person that makes a negative one. Eventually, I do hope one day we can all live in peace. 

Not everyone you come across with is meant to stay in your life. You never know who are you going to meet, and how they’re going to shift your life (whether in a positive or negative direction). Sometimes when you meet someone new, and they tell you they used to take steps where you have already stepped on, you say, “We’ve probably run into each other at some point”. What are the odds you have?

Who knows, maybe the next person you bump into will change your life.

To be honest, I don’t know why such a thought would elaborate in my mind. And to be brutally honest here, I don’t think I’m making a lot of sense. 

 

Of course! The world sort of rules me today!