Daydreaming is my unpaid internship

I have shared the first page of my novel with a few friends and family and have received positive feedback. The common question is, “How did you come up with all this? How did you think of the names?” The answer is, daydreams and dreams have become my unpaid internship. I intentionally daydream and dream my entire novel, in order to put realism in it. I’m basically creating the entire world and scenarios in my head, as I go on with my daily life. I can lucid dream, and this allows me to continue working on it while I’m sleep. I don’t know how I do it, but thank goodness I can.

I came up with the name for my main character while I was in the bathroom. It was definitely not my intention to do so, but ideas just come and go, and the name was so good I didn’t want to flush it down the toilet (pun totally intended). I’m not proofreading at the moment, because it is wasting too much time, and I want to make sure I have the story written down. There are a few holes I need to patch, but I have learned not to worry about the final details, in case the plot changes along the way. I have learned to control my daydreaming, because if I want to pay the bills right now, I need to be able to work with society. I used to zone out a lot, but now I only do when I allow myself to do so. It isn’t easy, because my novel is part of my life and it is hard to stop the ideas flowing in, but I’m managing. I have to admit, there are days where it kills me inside when I don’t pay attention to my writing voice, or when I cannot daydream, and it does cause me stress, but I use my days off to let the dreams escape and the words come to fruition on paper (or Word document). It doesn’t make it 100% better, but I have learned to accept it and to be grateful for what I have.

I believe to a certain extent that my daydreaming is a symptom of me being an Empath (read this website) and that’s why I live to dream and shut down if something won’t let me do it. The reason I’m writing this post is because I have discovered this recently (specifically, yesterday). Events in my life finally make sense, dots have been connected. Some people thought I was crazy when I predicted deaths in my family, or when I knew how they felt before they told me what was happening. It is not scientifically proven, but I can tell you all the traits you read on that website are mostly true for me (the meat and antique ones do not apply to me entirely nor depression). But, this probably explains why I don’t do well in crowds and why I don’t like strangers rubbing off on me when they pass by. If I have to be in a crowd, for example when I go out with friends, then I do it without complaining. It doesn’t mean I cry and scream if I’m around too many people, but I get tired by the end of the day. I don’t know where I can go from here, but whether I’m an Empath or not, at least now I know I’m not the only one with those traits :).

http://reactiongifs.com/?p=8660

Robert Downey Jr. approves of me!

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

 

Advertisements

Inspirational – A to Z Challenge

A to Z Challenge letter: i

24994_382696188479_4640841_n

Inspirational

This is why I created this blog. I want to pass on the inspiration and help others feel worthy. The only reason I am who I am today is because of all the people who have inspired me since birth. I am not 100% positive all the time, I cry, I laugh, I love, I grief, but I am at a point in my life where I do want to strive to regain all hopes and help others overcome their own fears. It’s easy to dwell in sadness, believe me, to this day I still grieve the loss of my grandparents, the constant trips my dad took during my childhood, the heartbreaks, the lost friendships, my pet hamster, and other struggles I have faced. But, that is all the negative side, and I remember the positive time that created a great balance during my life. For every despair, there were lots of loved ones who showed their genuine support, and friends who were straight forward when I needed them to be.

It is a hard battle to remain positive, but it is not impossible to win. There will always be negative moments to try to keep me down, because that’s exactly what negativity does. I am strong, but sometimes I lack the confidence to believe I am very strong. It happens, right? It is tempting to blame yourself for misery, but if you dwell in it for long, you begin to believe it. Don’t we all want to feel good? Live a happy life? I know I do, and I will keep fighting for my own happiness, even if there are others who will try to tear me down. You should do this, as well. Be happy and confident about who you are, and help others through your anecdotes.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Daily Prompt: Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

The Daily Prompt asks: Tell us your tried and true techniques for focusing when that deadline looms and you need to get work done. In other words, how do you avoid wasted days and wasted nights?

First of all, I don’t drink alcohol, which is the enemy of any deadlines you need to meet. When I was younger, I would often wait until the last minute, and rushed into finishing work I should’ve started weeks or even months ago. I have learned my lesson. I have a different outlook in life now. Back in day it was an immature perspective, and I would try to excuse my failures on the usual “why am I doing this if I won’t use it in the future.” Today, I ask myself, “How can this help me?” And I do it. Depending on how long I have to finish work, I take a bit of time each day, and a lot of time during my days off to accomplish what I set out to do. You can bet Enya will be involved in the process, her music helps me concentrate. I think they key is to understand and remind yourself how can the work you’re doing help you grow as a person and in school/work, instead of complaining and deciding not to finish. There’s always something to learn and we must turn a negative into a positive. 

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Do we run into the same strangers again?

I finally was able to walk to the grocery store today. The sidewalks aren’t icy! I guess Mother Nature is not on PMS anymore. In the middle of my walk, a thought came into my mind. The strangers we walk by or see on a daily basis, do we get to see them again? To be honest, I don’t really notice a lot of people I pass by on a daily basis, so I do wonder if I’ve been passing by them for a long time, or maybe for the first time.

I tend to see a lot of seniors (as in the elderly) if I go to the mall early in the mornings. You see them in groups, in pairs, alone.  How many times have I run into the same seniors? Will I live to be one and look as happy with their friends as they do? I know everyone has a different life, and we all have struggles, but I have yet to see an angry senior while s/he eats breakfast with her/his friends. It’s probably just where I live, or my mind just loves to play tricks. Oh well…

I like to think we will all stop running into unpleasant people, but that will never change. For every person that makes a positive change, there is a person that makes a negative one. Eventually, I do hope one day we can all live in peace. 

Not everyone you come across with is meant to stay in your life. You never know who are you going to meet, and how they’re going to shift your life (whether in a positive or negative direction). Sometimes when you meet someone new, and they tell you they used to take steps where you have already stepped on, you say, “We’ve probably run into each other at some point”. What are the odds you have?

Who knows, maybe the next person you bump into will change your life.

To be honest, I don’t know why such a thought would elaborate in my mind. And to be brutally honest here, I don’t think I’m making a lot of sense. 

 

Of course! The world sort of rules me today!