Love in Memories – Note One

I spontaneously wrote this a few days ago in 20 minutes. I didn’t want to edit, because I wanted to just pour my thoughts out, and leave it the way it turned out. I decided to share it and I hope to share for notes from it as I continue exploring this topic.

Title: Love in memories

 

A ripping pain overflows your veins, while you sit alone in agony. Reminiscing the fruitful moments and the lavishing gifts you once possessed.

 Where did all go?

You blame yourself for the present outcome. The guilt of what you lost, and where you could be right now does not leave your mind. It hurts, it strikes the deepest sorrow in your soul.

Where are you now?

Everything is empty and the world doesn’t make sense. The place where you are sitting is where everything will come together.

How will you move forward?

There is no clear starting point, but you can begin to gather leftover,s of any will you have to live. This is how you will resurface – or so you think – but all you have left to do is decide whether or not it’s worth moving forward.

You affirm to yourself that it doesn’t end here, but you have nothing around, except yourself. Where are you catching the inspiration from? There is one thing that you didn’t think you could count on, and that is your memories. You believe all the memories you have serve no purpose, because all you want to remember are the bad memories. There is one thing you overlooked and that is the love that you can find in them.

 

 

<3<3<3 Love, Ellie <3<3<3

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My latest Poem: “Reaching for the tallest branch”

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The words disperse,

and her heart rapidly beats;

as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

It’s not that it is unknown,

it is that she realizes what she once dreamed about

became her present reality.

~~~

The touch, the unbroken promises,

and the assurance that they are whole. 

She exhales, she hopes,

as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

The denial that absorbs her insecurities,

she knows in her mind she will fall again,

what can reassure her?

Just herself, as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

and the fear of freeing her patched up heart. 

~~~

An apparition that signifies the start of a journey,

that is freeing her patched up heart.

After many failed attempts at healing damaged chapters.

What, if anything, is left for her to give? 

~~~

An unfair question to herself.

~~~

It is this moment when she becomes aware,

that everything she is has never left

and the emotional beating was the wall she created.

~~~

What now?

~~~

She once looked in the mirror, in a dream, as an elder.

She faced fear, regret, everything she didn’t want to become.

It haunted her, until she set on to stop it from being her reality.

~~~

She lets go,

she opens up,

she loves again.

She reaches the tallest branch.

<3<3<3 Love, Ellie <3<3<3

 

My mind, the land of ruckus

Sometimes I look up at the stars and imagine living in world outside our planet. The galactic imagery is suddenly crashed by the ups and down of my life; also known as, being hit by reality. Is it because I have the mind of a writer that I think my life evolves as the like of stories? It gets overwhelming and it’s worse when you have people constantly putting you down. You get one chance at life, just one life and if you’re lucky you live up to 100. What legacy am I going to leave? Why can’t some people believe in me and influence me in a positive manner? Why does it affect me? Does this happen to you?

prc

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

 

The Writing Club

If the title didn’t give it away, one of my favourite movies of all time is, ‘The Breakfast Club.’ It is a comedy-filled drama about high school students who have to go to detention on a Saturday. They each belong to a different ‘clique’ and that’s what makes the movie interesting. As part of detention, the Principal asks them to write an essay about who they are.

It got me thinking. If I were to be put in detention with a group of writers, and asked to write an essay about me, what would happen? In the circle of writers, who would I stand out to be? Would I be the poet, the debater, the bibliographer? Would I cause drama between the group, or would I quietly sit in a corner and seclude myself until the end?

I think there are various ways to describe who you are. The thing is, we are all constantly changing; adding on to our traits, or leaving memories behind. I can tell you how I live my life: I live my life as it turns out to be. But, who am I? I am random. I adapt to all situations I am given, or the ones I create. I am a listener, a helper, a good (hopefully) friend. I am also very selective of people I hang out with; I do not bring drama into my life. However, I am also a worry-pants, I worry about the people I love and care about. This doesn’t mean I know who I am going to become in the future, but the fact remains that this is what hasn’t changed. Although, I am trying not to worry too much about things.

That’s who I am, but not all that I want to become. I still want to help others through writing and hopefully be recognized around the world…that is until I retire on a different planet :p. The one thing I know for sure is that I am and going to be a good person.

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Writing 201: Ballad

Prompt: Hero (ine)

Form: Ballad

Device: anaphora/epistrophe

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My hero (ine) in this poem is ourselves. I hope you agree with me that our lives are full of ballads; with and/or without tragedy. It’s different for all of us. If we think about it, any change good or bad will transform us. Will we like it? Not always. I will let you think about this for a moment. Next time you’re in the shower –hopefully soon, but hey, I’m not going to judge your habits – bend your arm and place it under the flowing water. What can you see? Some droplets will stay and some will wash away. It will be different each time, but you will still be yourself.

To hold, to be

Tell me what it’s like to stroll, on sandy terrains

knowing what is to be,

evading crumbs left by transgressors,

assuring yourself of who you are, in the rains.

~~~

To hold your hands, and shut unwanted marks

To explain known destiny 

securing your soul of untamed remarks

a plan duly thought of in time.

~~~

Tell me they can’t dent your heart

you have come this far

in times you have stopped to restart

and analysed your fractious path.

~~~

To hold your journey, it takes courage;

and the malaise rhythm parts you

To hide your sorrows, you breach your memories

and find who you thought you knew

~~~

Tell me you will hold your hands again

you will go far, without delusion,

thus time will favour your set plan

and set you free from seclusion.

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How to stop being a douchebag

Some people can be douchebags every once in a while, but others can have a serious case of douchebag-ness (I just made that word up, I think). 

1) Own up to your mistakes. Let’s face it, nobody is a Saint. Therefore, we make mistakes, every single day. Learn from them and try not to make them again. A mistake stops being one after 3 times. After that, it’s just plain silly,

2) Be there for your friends. One of your good friends comes to town after a while, but you decide to go party instead…douchebag alert!

3) Don’t preach what you don’t do. That is all.

4) Good hygene. Honestly, why is the world lacking such? Wearing a lot of perfume/cologne is not going to mask it. Just BATHE. 

5) Don’t walk like you are above everyone. There is a difference between confidence and being arrogant.

6) Respect your significant others, both in public and behind closed doors. It’s awful seeing boys talking so rudely to their gfs and vice versa, without the other one stopping them. Have dignity. You only live once, and you deserve to be treated like royalty. 

7) STOP yelling on the streets and making weird noises. Even parrots know when to shut up.

8) Selfies are okay in moderation, but a collage of them screams narcissism.

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Poetry: Blind Darkness

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Secluding thoughts on eternal paths

deaf to the sounds of logic

barricading  hope with,

false fables.

~~~

 Blinding denounce 

who we used to be

and we ask if there’ll be recondition

it is half believable.

~~~

Inconclusive destiny

where is the forever?

Whoever is there might unbind us

if we see it.

~~~

Hardships are clear

successes are real

Do we see? Can we see?

Sometimes we can’t hear.

~~~

Poetry: We Are

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We are dry leaves

struggling to survive

we stop, we admire,

we are stopped by malicious glares.

 ~~~

We stumble walking in worn shoes,

allowing pressure to push us down

we cannot stop, we want to,

we are silenced by the voice of aggressors.

~~~

We escape from their clannish,

but we turn and stare, and listen

we retract from our initial thoughts

we are crushed by their vile.

~~~

We read our own phrases,

to remind us of our true faces

we think of when we’ll end

but until then, we can embrace our fulfilment.

 

What I have learned in the month of July

I decided that July was going to be a month dedicated to myself. I wasn’t selfish, but I just needed time to focus on who I am. These are some of the things I’ve learned:

1) I have a connection with Poetry. I’ve written poems since I was little, but last month made me realize that I would love to introduce myself to the publishing world through them. So, as I mentioned before, I’m going to submit poems to writing magazines. Wish me luck!

2) I need to buy a new pair of runners. I walk a lot and I love it, but that also means I go through runners a little more often than I would want. I’ve done the whole investing into a good pair, but they still get worn out, so no more (my wallet thanks me for this).

3) Robert Downey Jr is having a baby girl, which crushes any hopes of me marrying him (you know, because before I totally had a chance). Still, I’m happy for him and his wife 😀

4) Drivers on a rush annoy me. If you’re on a rush, then next time get up early. But, I hate it when it’s my turn to cross and the guy is too eager to turn around the curve that I feel s/he is about to run me over. Just wait a few seconds, it’s better than spending the rest of your life rotting in jail.

5) I still love Netflix. I’m currently watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air!

6) Going to the library pays off. If you have a library card, you can get access to Hoopla, which is kind of like a discount Netflix. It’s free and you can find movies to borrow online! You get 10 titles per month. I love it, because I can watch Audrey Hepburn movies :). Here’s the link: https://www.hoopladigital.com/

7) I watched The Diary of Anne Frank after many years, and I have found a new hero. She was so positive in the middle of a dark time.

8) I added a new snowglobe to my collection. I love snowglobes and music boxes. When I was little I used to open my heart-shaped music box whenever I felt sad. My grandma used to have one, too. I guess they’re sentimental values to me.

9) My birthday is approaching and it’s a bit bittersweet for me. It was on my 20th birthday when I last spoke to my grandma; she had a stroke two days later. It’s been almost 7 years and it still feels like yesterday. My birthday is on August 30th, and I’m turning 27.

10) Only 40 days until my trip to South America :), which means I’ll be posting A LOT.

11) I need to get a new planner. I use my ipod to make notes, but sometimes technology is not on my side, so from now on, I would like to organize my activities on solid paper.

12) I love Rose and Red wine. I’m not a drinker, but I do like to indulge in a glass of wine once in a while. Funny enough, Rose has more effect on me than Red. Weird, eh?

I suggest dedicating a month to yourself, it really helps. Most of my life, I’ve done things for others, but I don’t always focus on myself. It doesn’t mean you have to be selfish, it just means you should focus on doing more things for yourself. Perhaps, treat yourself to a spa day, or finishing your novel, etc. I haven’t touched mine during this month, but I’m going back to working on it.

Remember, you have to be happy with yourself before you can help others to be happy.

 

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Submission Bravery

Are you going to try to get published, soon? Get your bow, arrow and shield ready to deflect the approaching rejection letters. But, that’s not a bad thing.

I’ve mentioned before about my poem submissions in September, and I have not changed my mind. They say,  “No writer gets published without a few letters of rejection.” Actually, I say that, but that’s not the point.

I know there is a big chance of my poems getting USB-zoned, but what do I have to lose? They’ll say no, so I’ll just keep trying. If you are dreading this, do not feel discouraged. You have to remember that not everyone will like your work, not everyone will like you. We are all different, and like many things. However, if you don’t try, you may be depriving a reader from your wisdom.

My goal is to help others realize their potential. This blog can hopefully do that in the meantime (you know, with all my randomness), but if I don’t try, it may be late for some people. So, I’m here to tell you that no matter how bad you think you write, or if you think you have nothing to share, go for it! Each day is a new world, and presents a new opportunity. Who knows, I’ll probably get enough rejection letters to make a wallpaper (the ones that go on your bedroom wall) out of them, but hey! At least, I get to do something with them. So, submit your work, and be happy. It’s that, or I’ll use my puppy eyes to convince you to do it (which will most likely give you nightmares, so your choice :p).

Savour the moment, and reach on.

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤