Your Legacy

I always say I’m not afraid of dying, but I hope I leave a positive legacy and a published book when I do. When I was younger, I didn’t think too much about this. I just knew I wanted to make a positive impact, but when you’re a teenager you think you’re immortal, and therefore go on to live as if you had a million lives. I’m turning 27 this year (geez, 3 more years and I’m going to be 30. What the heck?), but sometimes I feel like I’m in my early 20’s. I ask myself, have I made a positive impact enough to die without regrets? I hope so, but have I fulfill all my dreams? Not yet. I still have to publish a book and have a family. Will they ever happen? I don’t know, but I know one thing: if my time to pass on came tomorrow, I won’t have any regrets, because everyday I work hard to realize those dreams. Inspiration, published books, and a loving family. I want that to be my legacy.

I found this photo of my late grandparents on their wedding day. Before this day, my grandma spent 3 years in the hospital battling Tuberculosis; she lost part of one lung. During these years, my grandparents sent love letters to each other. They met when they were teenagers and grew old together. She lived 15 years longer than what the doctors had previously told her, and she gave birth to 3 children. Every time I look at their photos, I’m reminded of their legacy; Love, Trust, Faith, Courage, Perseverance. Against all odds, they grew old together. When I was a child, my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and the doctors gave him 5 months to live. He beat it and lived until he was 85. They both suffered and survived together. Their legacies make me not want to complain about anything.

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What legacy do you wish to leave?

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Joy – A to Z challenge

A to Z challenge letter: J

Joy

I have talked about what ‘home’ is, what is inspirational, what is good about this life. Today, I want to remind you that you should find joy in the simplest things, and you should not feel guilty if you find joy during a grieving process. I have talked about the passing of my maternal grandparents, which was very hard for me because I grew up alongside them; they were my second parents. They taught me form a very young age that you should always find the positive in every negative moment in your life. Up until the day before my grandma passed away, I thought I was going to be fine. After she received her angel wings, I felt I was never going to be happy again. I tried so hard to keep busy (with college) and found fun things to do in order to distract myself, but I felt guilty every time I smiled. I thought I had to be depressed, I had to curl up in a ball and cry in a corner. The reason I felt happy was because I remember all the good memories I had with my grandma and everything she taught me. I honestly thought she was going to be upset from above (or wherever Heaven is) if I didn’t cry. What kind of a granddaughter would I be if I didn’t grieve the way I thought was the norm? Everybody grieves differently and I’ve learned that. Just because you smile doesn’t mean you are happy the person you loved passed away. On the contrary, it shows what a great legacy this person has left for you to continue, and how much inspiration this person brought you. Of course, there are always psychos out there who do smile because they’re happy they passed, but you never know what’s going on in other peoples’ lives. I miss my grandma, but I smile everytime I think about her. I still cry when I talk about her, because heck I miss her!!! But, it isn’t like before. It is true that it does get better, but you never fully heal from a loss. It is the JOY they brought you that helps you carry on. So, do not feel guilty, only YOU know why joy is in your life.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

I have a thousand aunts

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A thousand is an exaggeration, but it feels that way, and it is an amazing thing. You see, these “thousand” aunts of whom I speak are not my biological aunts, but they are the fruit of an everlasting friendship that was formed during my mum’s school years. I’m not going to mention names nor ages, because what’s important is what their sentiments have shown me.

A lot of times we take our friendships for granted, and sometimes there are poisonous friendships worth abandoning. But what they have taught me is that a solid friendship is not impossible. I have many solid friendships myself, and you have no idea how tight I hold on to them; not because I have to or I’m afraid of being alone, but because of their tremendous value they have brought in my life’ just like my aunts. “Oh,  you’re exaggerating. I’m sure they’ve made you uncomfortable at some point.” In all honesty, absolutely not. They’ve always shown me their effectiveness of ushering my life with joy. It has been countless times that my thousand aunts have been there for me and my family ; they are my family. They saw me in mum’s belly, they saw me as a baby, and they saw me growing up. I visited them and their children many times; some were older than me and some were babies and I called them ‘cousins’. I remember one of them at my 6th birthday party, he was (I think) less than a year old; he’s now in his early 20’s! In addition, I recall a visit to another aunt when I was little, and her daughters introduced  me to the Curious George series (the old school ones). My aunts opened the doors for me to explore other worlds and languages (some of their children spoke German), and always reminding me of living life in quality and not quantity.

They have always had a positive impact in my life, and responded within seconds to any struggles I, my family, or other aunts have faced. They were there when my grandma passed away, and were there last year when my grandpa passed away. They’re like the A-Team, except with Aunts, or Guardian Angels if you want a different name choice. There was even a point when one of my aunts became my substitute Math teacher. Of course, I did get in trouble with her for talking too much (at this point, my mum was used to getting these type of phone calls), but she was gracious and during that time, I enjoyed Math –after she stopped teaching me, I disliked it again (typical).

What inspired me to write this post  is the current undeserving mishaps life has brought them lately. Without going into much detail due to privacy, I can say that it is related to grief and health issues. This is one of the ways I want to honour them. However, despite everything that is happening to them, they never break, but they show courage, kindness, and Faith. What a wonderful thing is to have people surrounding you, who are selfless, and act from their hearts to ensure YOU are well. They probably do not realize the impact they’ve had in my life (and others), but I can attest to the positive imprint that they have marked (and continue to do so) in this world, and I will pass on their legacy to my future generations.

I have a thousand beloved aunts, not in the literal form, but it sure feels like it, and that’s a good thing. I feel like I have a thousand aunts, because they’re walking angels who show that friendship is everlasting. They remind me of the goodness in the world and that love and true friendships still exist. Hold on tight to those you love and the ones who love you back, because eventually, their lives and our lives will let go of each other.

PS: This is my 100th post!

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤