Inspirational – A to Z Challenge

A to Z Challenge letter: i

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Inspirational

This is why I created this blog. I want to pass on the inspiration and help others feel worthy. The only reason I am who I am today is because of all the people who have inspired me since birth. I am not 100% positive all the time, I cry, I laugh, I love, I grief, but I am at a point in my life where I do want to strive to regain all hopes and help others overcome their own fears. It’s easy to dwell in sadness, believe me, to this day I still grieve the loss of my grandparents, the constant trips my dad took during my childhood, the heartbreaks, the lost friendships, my pet hamster, and other struggles I have faced. But, that is all the negative side, and I remember the positive time that created a great balance during my life. For every despair, there were lots of loved ones who showed their genuine support, and friends who were straight forward when I needed them to be.

It is a hard battle to remain positive, but it is not impossible to win. There will always be negative moments to try to keep me down, because that’s exactly what negativity does. I am strong, but sometimes I lack the confidence to believe I am very strong. It happens, right? It is tempting to blame yourself for misery, but if you dwell in it for long, you begin to believe it. Don’t we all want to feel good? Live a happy life? I know I do, and I will keep fighting for my own happiness, even if there are others who will try to tear me down. You should do this, as well. Be happy and confident about who you are, and help others through your anecdotes.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Home – A to Z Challenge

A to Z Challenge letter for today: H

 

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Home

What is home? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no …wait, wrong song! But, yes I do want to talk about this. What is home? It is hard to see during hardships, but it is always there and we often find our way after we drift away. The beauty of this question is that there is no correct and definitive answer, because we all have different views on what home means to us. It doesn’t necessarily mean that home is one thing during a specific time and place, it is whatever we want it to be. I love tea, and after a long day at work home is sitting in front of my laptop, drinking tea, and catching up with everything. Other days, however, I find my home inside the bed sheets while I watch my favourite movies, or I feel comfort just munching on popcorn while I watch Charmed. How about Photography? Of course, that can be home, as well. Painting my nails, doing my hair, talking on the phone, writing on here, my home is universal.

When we feel down, we seek to do the things that cheer us up, and that is home. There are no boundaries to what makes us feel at home, and no one can take it away from us, nor should we let anyone do so. All of us here have something in common, we call WordPress our home; we feel at home because we love to write and inspire. Let yourself be lost in your own serenity and always appreciate the fact you have a home, literally everywhere. Home is where you feel safe, where you feel comfort, and where you forget your troubles. Always remember not to choose the path of self-destruction, because once you get lost in it, it will be hard (never impossible) to find your way back home.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

A quitter: I’m quitting writing (A to Z challenge)

April Fools’!!!! I got you, didn’t I? :D. I had to do it, it’s a tradition in my prankster world :p. NO, I am NOT quitting writing. Never. Ever. So, let’s breathe!

As you may have noticed, I started the topic with the letter ‘A’ and that is because today the A to Z challenge has commenced. I have decided that my theme will be Random but Inspirational. I’ve always wanted to inspire and help people, and I’m going to see if I can convey that message through this challenge without diverting from my blog’s theme of ‘This is who I am’. Today’s letter: and the topic isn’t about quitting, it is about A mirror.

A mirror of high self-esteem

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As a little girl, I remember not being aware of how other people perceived me. I wore ponytails, an assortment of hair clips, and the then-popular stick-on earrings. My hair was well-groomed, my uniform was well-ironed, and every time I looked in the mirror, I smiled, I looked pretty. People taking pictures did not bother me, I would smile with food in my mouth, with mud all over my clothes, in the pool, while playing pranks on my sister, or while I watched my dad conduct experiments in the lab. I was assured by my family, relatives, and friends that I looked pretty. That’s what I heard all the time, and about everyone; my friends looked pretty, my plaid shorts made me looked pretty, my overalls made me awesome. I thought everyone was pretty…or so, I thought.

I was cunningly introduced to the low self-esteem demon. This self-awareness transition happened so subtlety, I didn’t realize I was becoming too aware of my self-image, until I was introduced to A mirror of high-self-esteem. I was at my best friend’s house for a sleepover, and it wasn’t until I was leaving that I noticed her front door mirror was “magical.” I looked into it and saw someone different, someone who had the body of a model. That can’t be me, I said to myself. But, my friend looked and she also looked like a supermodel. Why? We asked each other. The mirror was doing it, the mirror made us look more than half our size (literally). We giggled and named it, “the mirror of high self-esteem.” That was the moment I knew I had unconsciously been absorbing insecurities. If I was happy looking more than half my size, that meant I wasn’t happy with the way I looked. I became aware of how others were dressing, how they groomed, how they posed for pictures, and I forgot who I was. I didn’t like getting my picture taken, I had to “look good” in order for others to take my picture. I had become a trapped soul in the wrong world, where I thought I had to look a certain way. in order to be accepted and be pretty.

You know, it took a toll on me, so I threw it all away. It wasn’t from one day to another, but eventually, I stopped caring and became myself. I think I was myself all alone in the inside, and I was just trying to create a new shell on the outside. Of course, it left scars, and for a while I let myself be affected by others. Now, I just worry about looking clean, decent, and well-groomed, but for myself, not others. Yes, I still have insecurities, don’t we all? But, if I get a pimple, I don’t cry in my room for days. If I have a bad hair day, I flaunt it, I still go out. If you don’t like my hair, and that’s the reason you don’t want to be friends, then I don’t want you as my friend. Hey, when you go the Zoo, you don’t always like all the animals you see, right? Some like turtles, some like giraffes, but that doesn’t mean that they’re ugly if you don’t like them.

Everyone is beautiful, and I wish we could all be that kid who wasn’t afraid of anything, but the monsters under the bed (or closet). The one who’s not afraid to smile for the camera, to show off how good or bad they feel. Surround yourself with the right people, who will make you feel pretty every second of every day. You don’t need A mirror of high self-esteem to make you feel beautiful, but you should feel beautiful without looking into a mirror.

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Random Photo of the Day #9…with a Story Starter!

Hi everyone! Hope you’re doing awesome today :). I try to post these random photos everyday, but I apologize if I skip a day or so. I have so many things to post about that I like to give them a priority. I believe this is my 86th post since I started this blog in February – geez, I talk too much…or should I say, write, post? no? yes? maybe?

Today’s featured photo is one I created 4 years ago, about Earth! I’m not an environmentalist (just in case you think I’m trying to recruit you into a fictitious organization) . I just think we should protect what has been given to us — you know, I don’t go around the block evil laughing and ripping off the neighbours’ lawns when I’m upset.

But, moving on. This is what I wrote as a caption for the picture: “Earth. Our beloved Earth – though taken for granted by many, it is here to let us experience its beauty and everything it has to offer. It is a gift that many generations have experienced and taken advantage of. We must all appreciate what it has given us and take a moment to absorb its beauty in our hearts. Much like in this image I have edited, step around and touch its beauty that surrounds you. Look inside its beauty and breathe the air it still offers.”

 

Story Starter: S/he contributed to the beauty of this planet…

 

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Bonus!!! Here’s a shot from high altitude 😀

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Take care and enjoy the rest of your morning/day/night 😀

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Short Story: Laura’s Closet – Part Five (last one).

Here’s the last part of my less-than-two-week short story project called, “Laura’s Closet”. I do wish I had spent a bit more time on it, but it served its purpose, which was to let go and just write. It was inspired by a conversation me and two of my good friends had during my vacation back home in Vancouver. As always, I hope it inspires you in some way! Do not be afraid to just write and let go.

I’m working on another short story called, “Jehmers Donsriell’s Bequest”. I’m working on it more than “Laura’s Closet,” because it is a story I started a long time ago and never finished. I feel very good about it, which is why I want to spend a good time crafting it. There is no date when I’ll post it, because I’m not done, yet. Below is an excerpt I posted a while ago. After that, you can find all the parts of “Laura’s Closet”. Enjoy!

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Jehmers Donsriell’s bequest

She felt its sharp teeth crumbling her skin, but not a tear was shed. She was paralyzed, but she could still feel the harrowing pain, slowly rising inside her body. It absorbed any energy that she had left, and she felt hopeless. She clung to the wooden floor with her black long nails, as a last attempt to escape, scratching her way out of her own despair. It wasn’t long before her hair decayed, and her teeth began to dust from the rusty toxic wind that blew on her face. Her lungs began to collapse, as she tried to escape her imminent downfall. At last, she caught what would be, her final breath. The only thought in her mind, was regret…

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Laura’s Closet – Part One

Laura’s Closet – Part Two

Laura’s Closet – Part Three

Laura’s Closet – Part Four

Laura’s Closet – Part Five (final)

(continued)

Despite her efforts, Elena didn’t strip her off her power. Instead, she gave her a second one, the power of premonition.

Although relieved to have the power of seeing what she had been searching, it didn’t feel real.  She thought her rant to Elena was brutal enough to leave her powerless and without answers. Even though, she was speechless, she nodded and smile with gratitude. Then, Elena blinked and left, and Laura found herself in her bed, awakening early morning on the following day. “Was it all a dream?” She thought.

She sat on her bed for a few minutes, palpitating, touching everything around her, waiting for something to happen. Her eyes were sore as if she hadn’t slept for days, and a cold sweat spread throughout her body.  She placed her hand on her forehead and lied back down again. By the time she got up again, a couple of hours had passed.  She felt much better and didn’t want to waste more time. She quickly got ready and left to find Alliese and Sonia.

Before she left her building, she noticed it was pouring rain, but she had an umbrella ready. She experienced some déjà vu, but her suspicious were not confirmed, until she saw her neighbour approach. “This is a lot of rain. I should go back for an umbrella. Why is it that no one can predict such weather?” He said. She struggled to say something back, still in shock at the realization that she went back to the past. Or, did she? Could this have been the “truth” Elena was talking about?

She knew what was supposed to happen next; her meeting with Alliese and Sonia, to tell them about Mother Nature (now Elena). She stayed in the building’s lobby, and tried to contact them. But, something wasn’t right. She couldn’t find their numbers. She restarted her phone as an attempt to recover their numbers – she figured her cell phone had just crashed. However, all of her attempts had failed. She remembered she had the numbers written by her home phone. So, she went back upstairs to check –she knew their phone numbers, but for some reason she couldn’t remember.

She went inside her apartment, and noticed she didn’t have the numbers written anymore. “Something is definitely wrong here,” she said. She pinched herself a few times, just in case she was just dreaming. Everything seemed to be in order; except for the fact Alliese and Sonia were nowhere to be found. She felt lightheaded and slowly sat down on the couch, feeling like someone just tied a knot inside her throat. She took a few deep breaths; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. She paused, noticing her laptop was on with an opened document. She took careful steps towards it, and came to a full stop once she was close enough to read what it said. Her widened eyes glanced at the screen, and her breathing increased heavily.

Her whole life appeared to have been typed. Alliese and Sonia were not her friends; they were two personalities of Laura that she created in her mind, to cope with the fact she did die at the hands of the killer she ran from in the woods. Suddenly, she was transported back to the woods, at the same spot where she met Elena for the first time. Elena could not explain the circumstances, because Laura still had something to learn. But, she talked about Alliese and Sonia as being two of Laura’s biggest worries within herself. They became alive to her, because they were parts of Laura that needed to find their own resolution.  Laura’s reaction was as expected; she froze solid where she stood, and it took her a while to let go of the denial. She was trying to retrace her steps, and kept track on what happened before and how it all fitted together, but she had to grasp the idea of not being part of the world anymore. She retreated into the woods, and asked Elena to let her cope with her new destiny on her own. She was defeated by her own fears in life, but she was going to figure out how not to let them win her over in death. Even though, it was not under the best circumstance, Laura started listened to her soul for the first time.

Elena was going to let her discover a new world for herself, and for now, she wasn’t going to tell her that she was not dead.

 -The End…or is it?-

© Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to  Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. In addition, ‘Shares’ on social media may be used, providing full and clear link/credit is added.

Clumsiness

I sit with joy

delighting in sweet savour

with eyes captured by enhancing imagery

unknowingly throwing movements

it is my clumsiness.

~

Fixated upon media

and blinding trying to reach my surroundings

I do not try to evade

for it is my clumsiness.

~

Using my left hand

and when I fail the other

I cannot look at what I destroy

it’s in my nature, my clumsiness.

~

When I reach, I shake

and when I can’t, I’m impulsive

when it drops, I weep

when it’s fallen, I stare

it will always be my clumsiness.

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© Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to  Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. In addition, ‘Shares’ on social media may be used, providing full and clear link/credit is added.

Your golden years

I went to see a short play called, “Old Times.” To summarize it, it’s about a trio of male seniors who meet every year, to catch up on their lives. It was funny, but insightful at the same time. Just last week, my friends and I were wondering, how in the future we’ll probably meet with our kids (if we have any). How do I see myself in the golden years? That is if I’m destined to live that long.

I hope to have accomplished all of my goals; like publishing books, having a family, meeting the wonderful Enya, and getting my picture taken with hundreds of penguins. My goals even go way into the afterlife, where I hope to meet Audrey Hepburn — unless, I end up building the first time machine. All I know is, I’ll be a happy old fart, who will hopefully knit penguin blankets for her grandchildren, and still dance to the Backstreet Boys.

How about YOU? 🙂

 

Of course! The world doesn’t rule me today