New Poem: Solace

Here’s a new poem I wrote a few weeks ago. Photo taken by me ūüôā

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Solace

My solace is plague by the noise of your continuous lies ,

And in the prison they have locked me in,

I am consumed by my will to let your memory vanish.

Until they flood me with thoughts of unrealistic promises.

~~~

It rushes through my veins,

How can it be so empty?

when the burden feels so heavy.

How am I letting you divert me from where I was going?

~~~

Am I trapped between two guardians?

Or Am I trapped between two traitors?

I hold my arms out to stop them,

but they had already stepped back twice…Why?

~~~

Is my bidding done,  or am I being held like a puppet?

Jumping through hoops,

falling on rocks,

There are no saviours, just two destroyers.

~~~

Follow me on instagram: @worldruler007

 

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My latest Poem: “Reaching for the tallest branch”

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The words disperse,

and her heart rapidly beats;

as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

It’s not that it is unknown,

it is that she realizes what she once dreamed about

became her present reality.

~~~

The touch, the unbroken promises,

and the assurance that they are whole. 

She exhales, she hopes,

as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

The denial that absorbs her insecurities,

she knows in her mind she will fall again,

what can reassure her?

Just herself, as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

and the fear of freeing her patched up heart. 

~~~

An apparition that signifies the start of a journey,

that is freeing her patched up heart.

After many failed attempts at healing damaged chapters.

What, if anything, is left for her to give? 

~~~

An unfair question to herself.

~~~

It is this moment when she becomes aware,

that everything she is has never left

and the emotional beating was the wall she created.

~~~

What now?

~~~

She once looked in the mirror, in a dream, as an elder.

She faced fear, regret, everything she didn’t want to become.

It haunted her, until she set on to stop it from being her reality.

~~~

She lets go,

she opens up,

she loves again.

She reaches the tallest branch.

<3<3<3 Love, Ellie <3<3<3

 

Somewhere

Hi everyone! It’s been a while. Here’s a poem I wrote yesterday. Hope you like it :)!

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Somewhere amongst the clear faces. Somewhere along the walk.

Somewhere between the laughs and the talks,

where that one speaks to you.

Is it the conscious or the desire? Could it be that she wants that truth?

~~~

The stars connect and the unspoken words,

unwrap and they are once again whole.

Said truth unveils in dreams as they come

why can’t she get that there is none?

~~~

She sees what that one could have become,

she grieves that the chance is gone.

Above where choices fail to align

and a world where they are just one

it haunts her heart and stings her soul,

he is where he wants to be.

~~~

She is lost where she once had no hope,

yowling on the broken grounds

where arms holding her up to rise

with painful realistic thoughts.

~~~

She looks and smiles at the helping arms

that softly help her escape

she walks beside of what she let go

while hearing his voice once again.

~~~

Skip through the torments, the laments and the tears,

and forward to the time to heal.

He is where he wants to be,

and she found where she belongs.

 

What I have learned in the month of July

I decided that July was going to be a month dedicated to myself. I wasn’t selfish, but I just needed time to focus on who I am. These are some of the things I’ve learned:

1) I have a connection with Poetry. I’ve written poems since I was little, but last month made me realize that I would love to introduce myself to the publishing world through them. So, as I mentioned before, I’m going to submit poems to writing magazines. Wish me luck!

2) I need to buy a new pair of runners. I walk¬†a lot¬†and I love it, but that also means I go through runners a little more often than I would want. I’ve done the whole investing into a good pair, but they still get worn out, so no more (my wallet thanks me for this).

3) Robert Downey Jr is having a baby girl, which crushes any hopes of me marrying him (you know, because before I totally had a chance). Still, I’m happy for him and his wife ūüėÄ

4) Drivers on a rush annoy me. If you’re on a rush, then next time get up early. But, I hate it when it’s my turn to cross and the guy is too eager to turn around the curve that I feel s/he is about to run me over. Just wait a few seconds, it’s better than spending the rest of your life rotting in jail.

5) I still love Netflix. I’m currently watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air!

6) Going to the library pays off. If you have a library card, you can get access to Hoopla, which is kind of like a discount Netflix. It’s free and you can find movies to borrow online! You get 10 titles per month. I love it, because I can watch Audrey Hepburn movies :). Here’s the link:¬†https://www.hoopladigital.com/

7) I watched The Diary of Anne Frank after many years, and I have found a new hero. She was so positive in the middle of a dark time.

8) I added a new snowglobe to my collection. I love snowglobes and music boxes. When I was little I used to open my heart-shaped music box whenever I felt sad. My grandma used to have one, too. I guess they’re sentimental values to me.

9) My birthday is approaching and it’s a bit bittersweet for me. It was on my 20th birthday when I last spoke to my grandma; she had a stroke two days later. It’s been almost 7 years and it still feels like yesterday. My birthday is on August 30th, and I’m turning 27.

10) Only 40 days until my trip to South America :), which means I’ll be posting A LOT.

11) I need to get a new planner. I use my ipod to make notes, but sometimes technology is not on my side, so from now on, I would like to organize my activities on solid paper.

12) I love Rose and Red wine. I’m not a drinker, but I do like to indulge in a glass of wine once in a while. Funny enough, Rose has more effect on me than Red. Weird, eh?

I suggest dedicating a month to yourself, it really helps. Most of my life, I’ve done things for others, but I don’t always focus on myself. It doesn’t mean you have to be selfish, it just means you should focus on doing more things for yourself. Perhaps, treat yourself to a spa day, or finishing your novel, etc. I haven’t touched mine during this month, but I’m going back to working on it.

Remember, you have to be happy with yourself before you can help others to be happy.

 

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‚̧ ‚̧ ‚̧ Love, Ellie ‚̧ ‚̧ ‚̧

“Are your characters physically based on people you know?”

My novel has a lot of characters, but not all of them have been physically defined, yet. Right now I’m focusing on writing the entire story, I don’t pay attention to the grammar —but it does drive me crazy sometimes, it needs a lot of proofreading — and it took me a long time to decided not to, because I used to be afraid of the story not being good enough. If I think this way, I will never achieve anything. My novel will not be good for everyone, never. Take Lord of the Rings for example, eloquent plot, new language, yet there are a lot of people out there who loathe it! I didn’t know it was possible to loathe this masterpiece, but it is. My main goal is so inspire others and as long as I inspire at least ONE person, my goal has been accomplished. Which is why I haven’t focused too much on the appearances of my secondary characters. They are all loosely based on people I have met; the men are based on the types I like. The fact I don’t exactly have a ‘type’ of man in real life creates a diversity amongst my characters. If my novel ever gets published, you’ll notice that I focus more on their inner emotions rather than physically appearances (although, there are instances where I have to), and that is based on who I am in reality. I’ve lived in South America, U.S.A, Vancouver and now Ontario, so I’ve seen a lot. Hopefully, I’ll be able to visit Europe, New Zealand, and Australia in the near future¬†to get more inspiration ūüôā

Here’s a tip: Ask your friends for feedback, but do not change your whole story based on this. Use it to make a few changes, but do not get discouraged. Everyone has a different taste in books; some may not like yours, but others will. Follow your instincts and remember, you’re first writing for yourself, and then to inspire others.

If you’re thinking of writing a novel, poem, anything, DO IT! Life’s short and if you put it on hold, you never know what could happen in the future that might prevent you from writing.

 

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‚̧ ‚̧ ‚̧ Love, Ellie ‚̧ ‚̧ ‚̧

Writer’s Block – Who can say when I’ll shine. Only Time.

I’ve finally started writing my novel. I’m hoping to finish a draft by the end of this year, unless I let myself hit writer’s block, again.

Writing is rewarding yourself with printing your inner thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper (or MS word document). At the same time, it can also become a dreadful place, in which you’ll find ungrateful memories you never wanted to visit again. How do you overcome such thing?

The answer is clear, I’m not meant to. I’ve dug the deepest any artist does at one point in their life. I can only begin to explore and discover more about myself, and the message I have to send. It is terrifying, when you think about it. Why does my brain take me so deep, where the only way out is to confront the known and unknown? My brain does think it’s a pi√Īata, or the gift that keeps on giving. But, if I ever want to finish this novel, I have to embark in unexpected journeys (like Bilbo Baggins).

Only failures can lead to success, and believe me, I have failed many times. I know I won’t like what I’ll find, once I unblock these demons that are stopping me from writing, but perhaps, I can use my good memories to pull me back up.

This is going to be a new long journey. I want to get rid of my fears, but at the same time I’m intrigued and I want them here, I want to face them and I want to conquer them; however, I don’t want to forget them. All these fears have made me who I am today.

I wonder what the outcome is going to be after I’m done. Only time can tell.

“Book of Days” and “Only Time” by Enya have become my theme songs, right now (yes, the title of this post is in reference to one of those songs). By the way, if they ever turn my novel into a movie, I want her in the soundtrack! She’s my favourite artist :). Well, besides the great Peter Jackson! I hope he does a movie based on my novel :). Hey, I can dream! But, I’m here to share my messages and to search for peace, not fame. Whatever is meant to be :).

 

Of course! The world sort of rules me today!