Writing 201: Ode

Prompt: Drawer

Form: Ode

Device: Apostrophe

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This Ode is for those who have been there for us. The ones who helped us unlock our fears, in order to face them with great courage. Not many can unlock your true feelings, let alone help you overcome them.

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The various hands covered my dues,

and the tunes that rejoiced in times of woes,

Valiant choice! Thee, who triumphed my wars!

Amid the choice of not to be!

~~~

 The stupor of my fragile state,

saved in warm, gathered by one muse,

I attest thee presence on celestial grounds.

Ah, joy! Oh, relief! You are near!

~~~

All doubts disappeared,

thee gentle hummingbird.

How thee interfered? Through the shadows,

through the grey, into the heavens you took me.

~~~

Majestic trust on hopeful horizon!

the rays peeked with shining glitter,

and I was whole, and eternal,

as thee walked me along the shore.

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What do you remember?

It sickens me watching people going crazy over buying gifts for the holidays. Why on earth do you give yourself unnecessary headaches? People, you don’t HAVE 10 people to shop, you WANT to shop for them. Do you HAVE to? No, you don’t. Is it good that you want to? Of course it is. What’s wrong is how everyone fights over a stupid gift receipt, or how much you WANT (keyword is WANT, because you don’t HAVE to) to spend, or getting grumpy over a particular toy your kids want, but you can’t find. Breaking News, your kids won’t care. I certainly wanted so many things when I was little, but I didn’t get them all. I’m alive now and happy, so no, it won’t affect your kids life, and best of all, it won’t ruin your life – you save $100 and you get to live, isn’t that wonderful?

Hey, I get it. I didn’t grow up having everything I ever wanted, and when/if I have kids, I will certainly want to buy them what they ask for, but that is not going to be the case every single time. What I remember is spending time with my family over the holidays, and wrapping my stuffed animals and giving them to them as gifts. What I remember is getting a duplicate set for my dolls and donating them to poor children. Their joyous expressions are cemented in my memory forever. Which is why this society – full of consumerism- has forgotten how to live.

I ask everyone around me who ever gets me gifts not to give me a gift receipt with it. I always tell them that I will love what they give me. Seriously, why wouldn’t I love their gifts? I know who they are and I’m surrounded by loveable people. Why would I expect to receive something I won’t like? T-shirt size? Well, if they know me well enough, they should know my size. If it doesn’t mean, then I’ll donate it, or I’ll use it for something else. We have to stop and teach others to be grateful for what we get. Technically, we shouldn’t give each other anything, but we do anyway, so why not do it with a smile and without ranting about money?

We remember emotions, we don’t remember what we got. Honestly, I barely remember every present I have ever gotten. All I remember is who was there and how I was treated. Hey, I made other kids happy when I was a kid, and that would not have been possible had my family not taught me what’s important. And yes, gift receipts are my pet peeves, which is a bit weird to some people, but whatever.

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Luxury – A to Z challenge

A to Z challenge letter: L

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Luxury

Luxury to me is not about materialism, but about the jewels of the heart. Even though, I have experienced many heartbreaks. I still hold on to my good memories and I am happy to say I do live a luxurious life. thanks to my upbringing. I did not find out what I’m about to share with you, until I was older. My grandpa was diagnosed with cancer when I was little and the doctors only gave him a 2% (if I remember the number correctly) chance of survival. Back then, my family owned a few properties, meaning we were financial stable. not rich I may add. My mum and grandma had a choice to make, which took them less than a second to agree on a decision; they were going to sell it all and fight the cancer battle alongside my grandpa. Sure enough, he made a miraculous recovery and went on to live a fruitful life. Had they chose not to selfless give up their material possessions, I would not have had the chance to get to know the wonderful man my grandpa was. He was a father figure to me and for that I am extremely grateful. I often wonder how I would’ve turned out had he not lived so long. Would I have been spoiled? Well, not that I wasn’t, after all grandparents will always be grandparents, it is their duty to spoil their grandchildren :p. But, would my soul be capable of being so thankful today? I don’t know how the death of my grandpa would’ve affected us then. My mum had a very Faithful upbringing, so I don’t think I would’ve turned out bad, but I do wonder sometimes. Their love for my grandpa and the selfness to come to his aid when they needed him most, are the acts of love in my life that have left a luxurious impact in my heart. They loved him, they saved him, they saved me. Sadly, my grandpa passed away last year, on May 27th, after losing a battle with cancer. He was 85. But he fulfilled his destiny and left an amazing legacy for me to continue.

Luxury isn’t always material possessions, but memories preserved as jewels in your heart.

<3<3<3 Love, Ellie <3<3<3

Daily Prompt: Green-eyed Lady

They ask: We all get jealous from time to time — what wakes the green-eyed monster for you?

Daily Prompt: Green-eyed lady

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Oh, heck! I think I’ve just felt the wrath of the green-eyed monster. It is a foggy and rainy day and yes, I’m jealous of whatever city has warm and sunny weather :p. In all seriousness, I think us humans will always feel jealousy, there is no way to change it 100%; however, it is definitely possible to control it and lessen the reasons why we become jealous. When I was younger —a long time ago. I’m 26 now — most of my classmates had plastic multifunction pencil cases, which were extremely popular then. I wanted one. How could I not have one and my friends could, right? I was determined to get it and tried to convince my mum to get me one. My mum, being the good parent that she is, explained how the pencil cases were not very convenient due to lack of space, but I didn’t want to listen. During our trip to purchase school supplies for the next school year, my mum found the multifunction pencil case, and before we purchased anything, she showed me the one she recommended (bigger and practical) and the one I wanted. Are you sure you prefer the plastic one? She asked, hoping to convince me not to get it. Yes! Please! Please! She asked me a few more times, but failed to change my mind. Well, she ended up buying it. You’d think that she was spoiling me, that she bought it to shut me up (I was a chatterbox so I wouldn’t blame her), but she was on a quest to teach me a lesson (I was old enough for it).

When we got home I opened it, but I didn’t transfer my supplies from my old pencil case. Instead, I wanted to flaunt it at school. I didn’t want to brag, I just wanted to let everyone know I had one, I was cool like them. Sure enough, my classmates loved my new pencil case and before class started, I decided to fill it with my pencils and erasers. You should have seen me, proudly grinning at the fact I got what everyone had. Then, it faded. Wait, how come nothing fits in here, I thought. I’ll make them fit. I know what I’m doing. How come nothing fits in this THING. Ugh.

At the end of the school day, my mum picked me up, and I exited the school doing the walk of shame. How was your day? She knew something happened by the look of my face. Ok, but the pencil case didn’t work. Can we exchange it for another one? I whispered. Same one? She asked. No, the one you showed me. She told me there was a chance they wouldn’t do the exchange, after all I really wanted the plastic pencil case. But, we returned to the store and my mum asked me to do the talking. Yea, hmm, I..I..want to exchange this? I asked. Want? Mum stared. May I exchange this? I asked again. Luckily, they let me do the exchange. As soon as I got home, I transferred all of my supplies to the new pencil case, and I was happy. My mum told me that there are times we want to do what other people do or what they have, but I shouldn’t strive to obtain things because I want them and to follow others. In addition, I should find what works for me and what I like. Sure, I liked the pencil case, but only because my peers had it, and it was not useful in any way. But, she reminded me that we all live differently and should be grateful for what I currently have. Also that we don’t know what life has given other people, and we don’t know why they have certain things or why they lack. She mentioned kids who don’t even get a chance to go to school,or even have the supplies to help them.

That does not mean I suddenly stopped being jealous and lived in everlasting perfection, but it stuck with me and I did learn a valuable lesson out of a pencil case situation. I don’t remember if it was that year or the years after, but during one Christmas I received two of the same toy, and I clearly remember as soon as I received them, I told my parents I wanted to donate one of them. A few days later, we paid a visit to some children and I gave them the toy. I helped them assemble it and they looked very happy. It felt so good to give back and I haven’t forgotten it to this day.

Of course, I still get jealous of certain things, I’m not perfect and I don’t expect to be. However, I have learned to control certain aspects of jealousy and whenever I get jealous, I tell myself the Blessings I have in my life at that very moment. Yes, it is hard, because you also look into the past and wonder what could’ve happened or what you could’ve had, but we must remember that those thoughts damage your soul. Everyone is different, and we must find the key that helps up bring ourselves back to our reality. As much as that reality may be grey, we still have a light inside all of us. Instead of looking backwards, look forward to the next day in your life, not in others’.

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

Through the eyes of my childhood: Chapter Two: La Hyper Girl

I started these series in order to remind myself of who I used to be, in comparison to who I am today. Here’s part one if you want to follow: Through the eyes of my childhood: Chapter One – Hiding

 

La Hyper girl

I was a hyper child and always ready to go. I think my parents would’ve made great marathon runners from chasing me all over the place ( I even learned how to walk trying to chase my dad). Then again, in my defence, my two grandfathers were athletes and so was my mum, so it was in my blood. Even though, the energy of a hundred suns combined ran through my body, I managed to sleep through the entire night, which is something my parents were incredibly grateful for. Nevertheless, I  could not be left with anyone but my parents or grandparents, without crying. No one ever knew why, but I like to theorize that it’s because I’m naturally sensitive.

One night my parents decided to go out and my aunt (dad’s sister) offered to babysit –if I had a time machine, I would go back and warn her not to. Despite my parents’ concerns about me throwing a fit, my aunt encouraged them to go out and have  fun (she was only trying to be nice, oh poor auntie!) ; little did she know, she was in for quite the night. They left me asleep, but as soon as they left, guess what happened? Yup,  I woke up and started crying (did I somehow managed to install surveillance cameras in my crib?). My aunt tried to calm me, and reassured me it was all going to be fine (because, in a moment of desperation your brain tells you this is logical), but nothing worked. She was smart (and desperate to shut me up), and resorted to digging through the hamper to get my parents’ shirts (so gross,poor aunt), and placed them next to me. It worked! I fell right asleep – sneaky aunt, how you fooled  me! Having had the odd feeling that something awful happened, my parents cut the night short and returned home early. As soon as she saw them, my aunt ran away in tears…nah, just kidding, but she was exhausted. After that night, my mum never left me with anyone, but my grandparents.

To this day, I’m still a hyper woman. It’s helped, though. There are a lot of things I would not have achieved had I not been hyper. However, my friends don’t let me drink coffee when I’m with them (can’t blame them), not because they don’t want me to, but can you imagine what I’d be like with caffeine running through me? I’d say like a rabid raccoon with a splinter in its tongue, trying to escape the gates of hell. I like to joke with them and tell them my steamy cup has coffee in it :p (it’s just peppermint tea). But, this is who I am. I like to enjoy life, heck I like to hate life sometimes, too. I’m not a robot on a happy mode 24/7, but I try to be. I break, I feel, I cry, I panic, I get anxious, but I’ve been in a lot of dark places in the past that I don’t want to go there again. I get bored, but somehow I manage to find something fun to do. I’m still sensitive, and I don’t know, but it’s like I can sense people. No, I don’t have magical powers or have a sixth sense, but I listen to my instincts a lot. If something or someone doesn’t feel right, I don’t accept it. I don’t cry when people approach me or when my relatives visit me –I cry when they leave, though.

This is who I am, and there are things that are just part of me. I never stopped being that baby and child, I just grew alongside them.

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Yup, I’m wearing a wig and sunglasses in this baby pic :p

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Daily Prompt: The Great Pretender

You can read the daily prompt, right HERE.

They ask: Are you full of confidence or have you ever suffered from Imposter Syndrome? Tell us all about it. (https://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/prompt-the-great-pretender/)

I confess! I am confident most of the time, like today for example. I’m confident I’ll be tired, because my brain woke me up earlier than usual and did not let me go back to sleep. Consequently, I am confident I’ll be upset at my brain for the rest of the day – perhaps, forever. When I look into the mirror, I am confident, I look good, but not in a conceited way. But, then I look again and change my mind – the outfit wasn’t my best choice, my face looks different – what if I get wrinkles this year? I’m only 26. Thereupon, I get over it, I snap out of it. I remind myself that many people have no clothes to wear, so many people have illnesses, and here I am giving myself unnecessary heartache due to my sudden lack of confidence. I just can’t go there. I refuse to.

I am confident I will pick the right tea for tonight. I am not confident I’ll feel like eating chicken tomorrow. I am confident I won’t waste food and only buy what I need. I am grateful I can choose what I’m going to eat, and can satisfy my cravings. I am confident one day, if I’m to regain some sort of power, I will make sure those who can’t, can eat what they couldn’t.

I have my dream job, I am happy, I know I can do better each day, and I am confident I will succeed. Yes, of course sometimes when I fail, I tell myself I have failed in life; that I should bury myself under my bed sheets, and rock back and forth until an angel comes to my rescue. And then the angel will become flesh and we’ll marry and live in eternal happiness. I’m confident that won’t happen in its entirety (you know which part that is).

But, I am confident I will regain my confidence when I lack of it. Nobody is a failure, and nobody should think that of themselves. It doesn’t mean I won’t at some point, but we are all dealt different cards in life and therefore, have different strategies that we use to face our reality.

I am confident this prompt question SHOULD be asked to ourselves when we feel we have failed. I am thankful they asked it. I’m confident they have initiated a change towards goodness amongst other writers. I am confident they have inspired.

Listen to yourself, and not others. As long as you’re not hurting others or yourself, you’re free to fly into the world as you please, and with confidence.

Random Photo of the Day #4…with a Story Starter!

First of all, Happy First day of Spring! It feels like an ice apocalypse here in Ontario – poor Mother Nature probably got her heart broken by an Ontarian, and now she’s taking it out on all of us – but, I checked online and it’s supposed to get better.

It’s supper time for me, and therefore I’m hungry. How fitting would it be for me to post a photo of food? How about 2 photos? Today’s post contains a bonus! How awesome is that? However, in the spirit of being inspirational, I’m going to turn these photos into a learning experience.

How many times have we gone to the supermarket and impulse bought items, only to throw them away a few days later? I used to do that, not all the time, but quite a few. Let me tell you, now I only buy what I know I’m going to eat and it has worked for me. You have to remember how luck you are for having the means to eat at least, one meal a day. Even if you aren’t sure of what to buy, just buy what you know you will eat on that day, and then go to the supermarket the following day. It also gives you an excuse to get out of the house. Preferably, walk there and enjoy your city/town 🙂

If you need some ideas for snacks, here’s a list of my favourite ones: My Top 10 snacks.

Story Starter: I am grateful for…

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Of course! The world rules my stomach!

Goodbye Vancouver

My Vancouver trip ended yesterday, and now I’m back in “sunny” Ontario! I always thought I love to overthink my life events, but I have realized it is simply me living life to the fullest, and being appreciative of what I’m given. This doesn’t mean I’m a happy camper all the time, but my life’s perspective have begun to change. I guess it is a good thing I try not to take things for granted now, but there is an overpowering feeling about becoming an adult. I’m 26, and I have passed by mid-twenties, and  it’s not like I changed my perspective as soon as I turned 26 — that’s not the type if wish you make when you blow the candles–but, it has been at least, a 3-year change.

It is a bit scary. Am I to think once I hit my 30’s, everything will start to go downhill? Will my hair go fully grey? I’d say probably yes to the latter. But, I have friends who are 30 and up, and they look happy and young. They definitely ease my fear of turning 30 (if I live to see it), and have inspired me to remain young at heart — mainly to get carded in my 30’s — and strive for a good future.

I know there is no point in worrying too much about ageing — I can always write about it — but it is my curiosity that makes me dig for answers. But, my trip has given me more than I could have asked for. I reconnected with my friends and saw my family — my sister and I played Mario Bros and towards the end of my trip, we didn’t die so many times! — I laughed more than I have the past one year, and felt so loved by everyone. I never realized I made such a positive in many peoples’ lives, so it was an eye-opener into who I really am, and how I am perceived. I’ve always wondered if I were to pass on right now, what kind of legacy would I leave. So, in a way it has given me a lot of peace.

I always give tons of credit to pilots who get me to my destination safely. The flight to Vancouver was great, but the flight back to Ontario was awesome! The skies were mostly clear, and the views were spectacular. During the flight ‘good guy’ pilot announced were going to hit a 10-minute turbulence — I almost fainted — but he changed altitude and the turbulence lasted about a minute or two! And to top it all, we arrived to Ontario about 15 minutes early.

I can’t ignore what happened to Malaysian Airlines. I was hanging out with my one of my best friends, the day before my flight, when I saw it on the news. It breaks my heart that this happened. I’m not afraid of flying, I’m just afraid of take-offs. So, seeing the news before I flew, wasn’t very reassuring. But, I hope the families get the answers and closure they desperately need. I have to mention this on my post, because I can’t pretend terrible things are happening in the world. The situation in the Ukraine is dire, and there is so much violence in this world. Sometimes, it is difficult for me to comprehend why people instill pain and fear. We’re supposed to protect each other and our planet. Life is a gift, so why are they misusing it? There really is NO point.

A lot of people ask, “Why pray?” Well, why not? There is so much evil in this world, we need to pray so people find peace in all this turmoil, so that hopefully, evil will vanish from this world. And if you don’t pray, that’s fine, too. As long as you join in the quest of amending the world, you can choose how you want to do it. Just remember, even when life gets tough, do not despair.

Here are some pictures from the flight. Look at the stunning view! Remember there’s still beauty in this world.

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PS: I’m working on a short story called, ‘Laura’s closet’. I thought about it during my trip :). I will hopefully post it this week!

Of course! The world doesn’t rule me today!