Poetry: Flowing Feelings

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The gentle touch of flowing feelings

sermonizes your veracity,

patching up the rough road

desiring to enlighten your spirit.

~~~

The gentle touch of flowing feelings

diverts you from strong currents,

liberating panic from lost hope

embracing you with a new purpose.

~~~

The gentle touch of flowing feelings

glow a smile through expressed sadness

erasing failures through your passions

lifting you up to newly open gates.

~~~

The gentle touch of flowing feelings

chant your thoughts on lifelong plaques

emerging answers all can see

dispersing ease on global pain.

~~~

 

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Eye candy: so good, yet so bad

I’m a hopeless romantic (yea Ellie, you think?). I don’t necessarily believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in instant chemistry. But, until I find my happily-ever-after, I can’t help but to enjoy some eye candy. Hey, you do it too, admit it!

It’s not always healthy, because you don’t know who that person really is and you might get your hopes up a little too much. My former eye candy developed into a crush…wait, what’s the difference? Well, eye candy is merely for staring (in a non-stalker way) purposes, but a crush is more of a connection that blossoms after you meet someone. Sadly, I had too much of my former eye candy and I ended up having a crush on him; however, while we became friends, it wasn’t meant to be.

So, how do you know you’re overindulging in eye candy?

1) You become too expressive in your mind, as soon as your eye candy isn’t looking towards you. Oh, and to add to your embarrassment, you don’t think about this, you actually DO it. Yes, those expressions come to life, and your friends notice and tease you about it… FOR…THE..REST…OF..YOUR…LIFE.

Darn it, he’s cute 

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2) You suddenly become a bad listener. Your BFF’s problems? Nope, you’re paying attention to the nice clothes your eye candy is wearing.

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3) Before you overindulged in your eye candy, you didn’t seem to care about impressing him/her. Now, you do!  You go through your closet like you’re Ali Baba discovering the thieves’ treasure den.

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4) This is self-explanatory

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

 

Daydreaming is my unpaid internship

I have shared the first page of my novel with a few friends and family and have received positive feedback. The common question is, “How did you come up with all this? How did you think of the names?” The answer is, daydreams and dreams have become my unpaid internship. I intentionally daydream and dream my entire novel, in order to put realism in it. I’m basically creating the entire world and scenarios in my head, as I go on with my daily life. I can lucid dream, and this allows me to continue working on it while I’m sleep. I don’t know how I do it, but thank goodness I can.

I came up with the name for my main character while I was in the bathroom. It was definitely not my intention to do so, but ideas just come and go, and the name was so good I didn’t want to flush it down the toilet (pun totally intended). I’m not proofreading at the moment, because it is wasting too much time, and I want to make sure I have the story written down. There are a few holes I need to patch, but I have learned not to worry about the final details, in case the plot changes along the way. I have learned to control my daydreaming, because if I want to pay the bills right now, I need to be able to work with society. I used to zone out a lot, but now I only do when I allow myself to do so. It isn’t easy, because my novel is part of my life and it is hard to stop the ideas flowing in, but I’m managing. I have to admit, there are days where it kills me inside when I don’t pay attention to my writing voice, or when I cannot daydream, and it does cause me stress, but I use my days off to let the dreams escape and the words come to fruition on paper (or Word document). It doesn’t make it 100% better, but I have learned to accept it and to be grateful for what I have.

I believe to a certain extent that my daydreaming is a symptom of me being an Empath (read this website) and that’s why I live to dream and shut down if something won’t let me do it. The reason I’m writing this post is because I have discovered this recently (specifically, yesterday). Events in my life finally make sense, dots have been connected. Some people thought I was crazy when I predicted deaths in my family, or when I knew how they felt before they told me what was happening. It is not scientifically proven, but I can tell you all the traits you read on that website are mostly true for me (the meat and antique ones do not apply to me entirely nor depression). But, this probably explains why I don’t do well in crowds and why I don’t like strangers rubbing off on me when they pass by. If I have to be in a crowd, for example when I go out with friends, then I do it without complaining. It doesn’t mean I cry and scream if I’m around too many people, but I get tired by the end of the day. I don’t know where I can go from here, but whether I’m an Empath or not, at least now I know I’m not the only one with those traits :).

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Robert Downey Jr. approves of me!

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

 

A to Z challenge reflections

This A to Z challenge has been a great way to share my thoughts and try to motivate others. My theme was to write a life lesson for each post. Hopefully, I was able to inspire other bloggers out there :). The only thing I didn’t like was that I couldn’t ‘follow’ other bloggers, because their blog was on blogspot, and I don’t have an account there. Other than that, I really don’t have anything negative to say. Yes, it was a challenge, and sometimes I didn’t know what I was going to try about. It was a great thrill and I hope to join other challenges in the future :). Here’s a list of all my entries for you to read if you haven’t already. Go through it, share it, cry, eat ice cream, dance, do whatever you want :p. Thank you to everyone who reads and likes what I write and I encourage each and every one of you to never lose your voice.

 

A – A quitter: I’m quitting writing

B- Because animals are hilarious creatures

C- Countless Power

D- Defying Designs

E-Emotions

F- Friendships

G-Growing

H-Home

I-Inspirational

J-Joy

K-Kissing Kite

L-Luxury

M- Mother Nature

N-Night

O-Obscure Mentality

P-Project

Q-Quaker

R-Regret

S-Stench

T-Tired T-Rex

U-Undo

V-Villain

W-Wisdom

X-Xhaustion

Y-You Are

Z-Zone

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Poem – Visit

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Why have you not visited me again

she has many times

I need to hear you one more time

Tell me to live in peace

she has many times.

~~~

My emotions fall like dominoes

your presence can stop them

why can’t you visit me

she has many times

tell me, I want to understand

~~~

Is it that you’re here, but I can’t feel you?

The essence of her perfume has appeared

but yours, just once, if anything

why can’t you visit me

and relive the seen horizons

and the pebbles thrown in the water

~~~

Just once, I know you are fine

I need to know

you told me once you’d be here

is it because I really am okay?

why can’t you visit me,

she has many times

I live in peace

but say it to me one more time.

~~~

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

“Are your characters physically based on people you know?”

My novel has a lot of characters, but not all of them have been physically defined, yet. Right now I’m focusing on writing the entire story, I don’t pay attention to the grammar —but it does drive me crazy sometimes, it needs a lot of proofreading — and it took me a long time to decided not to, because I used to be afraid of the story not being good enough. If I think this way, I will never achieve anything. My novel will not be good for everyone, never. Take Lord of the Rings for example, eloquent plot, new language, yet there are a lot of people out there who loathe it! I didn’t know it was possible to loathe this masterpiece, but it is. My main goal is so inspire others and as long as I inspire at least ONE person, my goal has been accomplished. Which is why I haven’t focused too much on the appearances of my secondary characters. They are all loosely based on people I have met; the men are based on the types I like. The fact I don’t exactly have a ‘type’ of man in real life creates a diversity amongst my characters. If my novel ever gets published, you’ll notice that I focus more on their inner emotions rather than physically appearances (although, there are instances where I have to), and that is based on who I am in reality. I’ve lived in South America, U.S.A, Vancouver and now Ontario, so I’ve seen a lot. Hopefully, I’ll be able to visit Europe, New Zealand, and Australia in the near future to get more inspiration 🙂

Here’s a tip: Ask your friends for feedback, but do not change your whole story based on this. Use it to make a few changes, but do not get discouraged. Everyone has a different taste in books; some may not like yours, but others will. Follow your instincts and remember, you’re first writing for yourself, and then to inspire others.

If you’re thinking of writing a novel, poem, anything, DO IT! Life’s short and if you put it on hold, you never know what could happen in the future that might prevent you from writing.

 

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Poetry: Heal

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Delicacy of sweet lips

adorn my soul in glistening notes

beyond conundrum

on a path of petals

and windy salute

~~~

In the woods where branches meet

she carves her loss

with a punctured heart

and liberating sorrows 

she must try

~~~

Numb from all feelings

a beaming sun ray caresses her doubts

in conjunction with revelations

she faces the opposite

she finds a new horizon

~~~

Aboard her destiny she sets forth

glancing upon tomorrow

abandoning the sorrows

and dancing to no limits

she heals

 

 

Home – A to Z Challenge

A to Z Challenge letter for today: H

 

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Home

What is home? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no …wait, wrong song! But, yes I do want to talk about this. What is home? It is hard to see during hardships, but it is always there and we often find our way after we drift away. The beauty of this question is that there is no correct and definitive answer, because we all have different views on what home means to us. It doesn’t necessarily mean that home is one thing during a specific time and place, it is whatever we want it to be. I love tea, and after a long day at work home is sitting in front of my laptop, drinking tea, and catching up with everything. Other days, however, I find my home inside the bed sheets while I watch my favourite movies, or I feel comfort just munching on popcorn while I watch Charmed. How about Photography? Of course, that can be home, as well. Painting my nails, doing my hair, talking on the phone, writing on here, my home is universal.

When we feel down, we seek to do the things that cheer us up, and that is home. There are no boundaries to what makes us feel at home, and no one can take it away from us, nor should we let anyone do so. All of us here have something in common, we call WordPress our home; we feel at home because we love to write and inspire. Let yourself be lost in your own serenity and always appreciate the fact you have a home, literally everywhere. Home is where you feel safe, where you feel comfort, and where you forget your troubles. Always remember not to choose the path of self-destruction, because once you get lost in it, it will be hard (never impossible) to find your way back home.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Emotions – A to Z challenge

The letter for today: E

A to Z challenge

 

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Emotions

Anger

Love

Fear

Sadness

Joy

Trust…

All of us have one thing in common, emotions. How’s that for an icebreaker? Have you ever been afraid? happy? heartbroken? sad? We all have, more so than others, but we have experienced different emotions nonetheless. Being able to feel emotions are not a bad thing, even though we might think so at times. They help us vent and recover from expected and unexpected events in our life. I’ll speak for myself, but after a good cry, I feel like I can rule the world. When I feel sad, I feel like locking myself away for eternity; however, those moments help me have a closer look at my life and make changes if I must. I’m not saying I like those emotions, but I try to get rid of them as soon as possible. While emotions like ‘fear’ and ‘sadness’ are often unexpected, you can turn them into a positive and conquer them.

Do you ever feel like locking away certain feelings? I know I do. Sometimes I still lock them away, either due to embarrassment or fear of feeling vulnerable. But, you see, you should not be afraid to share your emotions. Lock them away for a bit until you figure out what to do, but let them go at some point. When you put things away for a long time, you forget about them, but they’re still there. If you lock away say, anger, it will consume you and will remind you that it’s there when you are at your most vulnerable. Take your time, of course, but face your emotions, because there are a lot of opportunities out there. Love and Joy are the easiest and most rewarding emotions, and I don’t mean ‘love’ only in a romantic way, but in friendship. It is true when they say, “Love conquers all”.

In the spirit of emotions, here’s a line full of friendship love for all my fellow bloggers:

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

A quitter: I’m quitting writing (A to Z challenge)

April Fools’!!!! I got you, didn’t I? :D. I had to do it, it’s a tradition in my prankster world :p. NO, I am NOT quitting writing. Never. Ever. So, let’s breathe!

As you may have noticed, I started the topic with the letter ‘A’ and that is because today the A to Z challenge has commenced. I have decided that my theme will be Random but Inspirational. I’ve always wanted to inspire and help people, and I’m going to see if I can convey that message through this challenge without diverting from my blog’s theme of ‘This is who I am’. Today’s letter: and the topic isn’t about quitting, it is about A mirror.

A mirror of high self-esteem

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As a little girl, I remember not being aware of how other people perceived me. I wore ponytails, an assortment of hair clips, and the then-popular stick-on earrings. My hair was well-groomed, my uniform was well-ironed, and every time I looked in the mirror, I smiled, I looked pretty. People taking pictures did not bother me, I would smile with food in my mouth, with mud all over my clothes, in the pool, while playing pranks on my sister, or while I watched my dad conduct experiments in the lab. I was assured by my family, relatives, and friends that I looked pretty. That’s what I heard all the time, and about everyone; my friends looked pretty, my plaid shorts made me looked pretty, my overalls made me awesome. I thought everyone was pretty…or so, I thought.

I was cunningly introduced to the low self-esteem demon. This self-awareness transition happened so subtlety, I didn’t realize I was becoming too aware of my self-image, until I was introduced to A mirror of high-self-esteem. I was at my best friend’s house for a sleepover, and it wasn’t until I was leaving that I noticed her front door mirror was “magical.” I looked into it and saw someone different, someone who had the body of a model. That can’t be me, I said to myself. But, my friend looked and she also looked like a supermodel. Why? We asked each other. The mirror was doing it, the mirror made us look more than half our size (literally). We giggled and named it, “the mirror of high self-esteem.” That was the moment I knew I had unconsciously been absorbing insecurities. If I was happy looking more than half my size, that meant I wasn’t happy with the way I looked. I became aware of how others were dressing, how they groomed, how they posed for pictures, and I forgot who I was. I didn’t like getting my picture taken, I had to “look good” in order for others to take my picture. I had become a trapped soul in the wrong world, where I thought I had to look a certain way. in order to be accepted and be pretty.

You know, it took a toll on me, so I threw it all away. It wasn’t from one day to another, but eventually, I stopped caring and became myself. I think I was myself all alone in the inside, and I was just trying to create a new shell on the outside. Of course, it left scars, and for a while I let myself be affected by others. Now, I just worry about looking clean, decent, and well-groomed, but for myself, not others. Yes, I still have insecurities, don’t we all? But, if I get a pimple, I don’t cry in my room for days. If I have a bad hair day, I flaunt it, I still go out. If you don’t like my hair, and that’s the reason you don’t want to be friends, then I don’t want you as my friend. Hey, when you go the Zoo, you don’t always like all the animals you see, right? Some like turtles, some like giraffes, but that doesn’t mean that they’re ugly if you don’t like them.

Everyone is beautiful, and I wish we could all be that kid who wasn’t afraid of anything, but the monsters under the bed (or closet). The one who’s not afraid to smile for the camera, to show off how good or bad they feel. Surround yourself with the right people, who will make you feel pretty every second of every day. You don’t need A mirror of high self-esteem to make you feel beautiful, but you should feel beautiful without looking into a mirror.

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤