New Poem: Solace

Here’s a new poem I wrote a few weeks ago. Photo taken by me 🙂

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Solace

My solace is plague by the noise of your continuous lies ,

And in the prison they have locked me in,

I am consumed by my will to let your memory vanish.

Until they flood me with thoughts of unrealistic promises.

~~~

It rushes through my veins,

How can it be so empty?

when the burden feels so heavy.

How am I letting you divert me from where I was going?

~~~

Am I trapped between two guardians?

Or Am I trapped between two traitors?

I hold my arms out to stop them,

but they had already stepped back twice…Why?

~~~

Is my bidding done,  or am I being held like a puppet?

Jumping through hoops,

falling on rocks,

There are no saviours, just two destroyers.

~~~

Follow me on instagram: @worldruler007

 

My latest Poem: “Reaching for the tallest branch”

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The words disperse,

and her heart rapidly beats;

as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

It’s not that it is unknown,

it is that she realizes what she once dreamed about

became her present reality.

~~~

The touch, the unbroken promises,

and the assurance that they are whole. 

She exhales, she hopes,

as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

The denial that absorbs her insecurities,

she knows in her mind she will fall again,

what can reassure her?

Just herself, as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

and the fear of freeing her patched up heart. 

~~~

An apparition that signifies the start of a journey,

that is freeing her patched up heart.

After many failed attempts at healing damaged chapters.

What, if anything, is left for her to give? 

~~~

An unfair question to herself.

~~~

It is this moment when she becomes aware,

that everything she is has never left

and the emotional beating was the wall she created.

~~~

What now?

~~~

She once looked in the mirror, in a dream, as an elder.

She faced fear, regret, everything she didn’t want to become.

It haunted her, until she set on to stop it from being her reality.

~~~

She lets go,

she opens up,

she loves again.

She reaches the tallest branch.

<3<3<3 Love, Ellie <3<3<3

 

Sorry (Canadian style) for the M.I.A.

Hello my fellow bloggers!

I have been quite absent and I’m sorry (Canadian style) I haven’t posted a lot. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail, but I have gone through heartbreaks and nonsense, which completely drained me emotionally (I stopped listening to Enya for a while. That’s how bad it was! You know I love my Enya), while still putting on a brave face for my loved ones. I needed time to recharge and find myself again! And here’s a heads up. I’m going home to Vancouver in September, which I’m happy about :D! And to add on to that, I am going paragliding…yes, I am going to jump safely out of a mountain! LOL. The reactions I got were hilarious, but they all support my crazy decisions. But, hey, the decision is not that crazy haha.

Me: I’m going paragliding. 

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My friends’ reactions: 

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My family’s reactions:

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Needless to say, it is going to be epic! That’s who I am and I’m not going to change. By the way, I am listening to Enya again and I joined instagram (shocking, I know):  worldruler007

Ta ta for now!

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Writing 101: Three most important songs

I’m 27 years old, so you probably expect me to pick a song by Nicki Minaj, Lady Gaga, or some random modern artist. But nope, I’m not sharing my buns with your anaconda or whatever vulgar word you fancy, nor am I sharing any poker faces, or having a bad romance with you.

I don’t listen to rap, personally. If my friends do, then I just have to listen for… moral support? If that makes any sense. They all sound the same to me, even though they probably don’t. If you make me listen to the same song, I will give you different artists’ names on different days; one day I’ll guess Chris Brown, and another day Drake, and other days Pitbull. I don’t even know if Pitbull raps. All I hear is his voice shouting something in half Spanish. I don’t know, music nowadays is a bit weird. Except for One Republic and Coldplay. They get a pass, just because.

Here my 3 picks.

1) Don’t Dream it’s over by Crowded House – Whenever I want a bit of motivation, I listen to this song; it can be interpreted in many ways. I know not everyone knows who they are, but then again, I don’t know who a lot of artists are in the present time. This my friends, makes us even 😉

2) Everything Enya! Ha ha ha. Yes, not exactly a song, but it’s hard to pick one Enya song. Please don’t make me choose! It’s like asking me whether or not I want to see Robert Downey Jr’s abs. Here a few songs I think you should listen to:

-Wild Child

-Caribbean Blue

-Storms in Africa

-Only Time

-May it Be (aka one of the Lord of the Rings songs)

3) All the right moves by One Republic. If you listen to the lyrics, it’s very true.

4) Because I want to rebel, my number 4 pick is ‘Paradise’ by Coldplay. It’s one of my theme songs.

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Writing 101: Unlock the Mind

For my first assignment, I’m supposed to free write for 20 minutes and see what I can randomly come up with; no edits, no rewrites, just raw. Let’s see the clock…and here I go.

I don’t even know what to write, but I thought I’d share two random things I did today – if you know me, random is my middle name- which don’t make the best of stories, but they’ll do for the purpose of this assignment. Hey, there isn’t even a purpose, but to write for 20 minutes without stopping. Fine, they didn’t say you shouldn’t stop, but I am giving myself that extra task. I feel I should go back to the link and read, but I can’t stop.

Story #1: This isn’t really a story, but what I go through during this weather change. I walk to work most of the time, and the weather has been so inconsistent that I have found myself bringing two jackets to work; a winter one, and a light coat. It is pretty hilarious to my colleagues, because they always ask why would I bring two jackets. I always explain that it’s because I don’t know how the weather is going to change. What if it changes all of a sudden and it gets very windy and drops below zero? – Okay, I know what you’re thinking, and don’t give me that look. We all know the weather network is rarely accurate. It’s the job you still get to keep after a thousand mistakes (not hating). And, the end. That’s it. That’s the big story; I bring two coats to work.

Story #2: I was so tired today (hopefully not catching a cold).  I went in the kitchen to fill a small container with corn chips, because I wanted a quick snack that wasn’t vegetables or fruits. I dropped one to the ground, just one, and guess what I wanted to do with it. On a regular non-tiring day, I would quickly throw it in the trash bin, but not this day. Well, to be precise, I THOUGHT about doing this. Instead of walking to the trash bin – it was in the kitchen and not far at all, but my brain made it seem like I had to marathon my way to it – I wanted to take the corn chip, walk to the front door and toss it out to the front yard. My logic at that moment? None whatsoever. I guess that corn chip would have fed a squirrel or a raccoon, but it still would’ve been quite the sight for my neighbours. If any of them would have happened to be recording, I would have ended on Youtube for extreme laziness/randomness. I can see this being some cult horror story, ‘Penguin of the Corn Chip,’ or a triumphant story of a girl who saves her neighbour wild animals in ‘Lord of the Chips’.

And my fellow bloggers, that’s my 20 minutes. Savour the moment and your wasted time reading this :p. Okay, it can’t be wasted. I’m sure you have learned something from this.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Poem: Antagonist

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Evasion of leftover sorrow

And miscreant patches in my heart

I plea to the one I name, a thief

To withhold what breaks me apart.

 ~~~

The impaling hit your absence makes

Cannot disappear with lasting memories

I move forward, to retract my aches

And turn deluge of tears into my remedies.

~~~ 

I, with discomfort, go on – wherever you are,

The idea of no return, with the clues of many reasons

I control the power of the sting of your scar

And I do not attend to my broken pieces.

 ~~~

Am I damaged? Do I know how to feel?

It strikes me in the corner of my emotions;

The thought I will never heal

From the steps we have taken by our devotions.

~~~ 

Can you pull me into my righteous path?

I wish to frisk by the ocean with your company

And disconnect from agonizing wrath.

I was once known to be bubbly.

 ~~~

Behind me, I acknowledge your being

I dream for you to catch me

You have gifted me with sense of freeing

So that today I can clearly see.

 

 

 

Ontario Winter: A money saver

Ontario winters are one of the worst in the whole country (but better than Saskatchewan). Of course, when winter is here we hate it, but when it’s gone, we crave for the cold breeze to chill us down during hot days. Vancouver had a great winter this year; it was like a cold spring. But, I’ve been looking at this all wrong. I should be grateful for this winter. If you think about it, it can save you money.

Forget going to the Blue Mountain Resort here in Ontario, or flying out West to Whistler, BC. Why waste all that money, when you can gather your gear and hit the slopes at your nearest plaza parking lots? Snow ploughs love to accumulate the snow behind your favourite grocery market, Canadian Tire, or perhaps a mall! Why wouldn’t you climb these parking lot hills, and enjoy the view of people: during their smoke breaks, while carrying more groceries than they can handle. or cab drivers taking a nap? If you wouldn’t choose this lifestyle, then you need to re-think your priorities!

Everyone knows ice cream goes on sale during winter. This is the perfect time to stock up on lots of ice cream. But, where would you store it all? Yes, your freezer, but you wouldn’t be able to fit everything in it. So where else can you put the ice cream? Well, the toilet seat wouldn’t work guys, that’s gross. How about you in your own organic freezer? Yes, you can store the ice cream in your very own backyard! It’s the biggest freezer you will ever have until the end of winter – and if you are in Ontario, until the middle of spring.

So, we got a mini winter vacation taken care of, food locations, now what else can you save money on? Why,a shower! This is the perfect way to say good-bye to an amazing winter. When the temperatures go up – which feels like Christmas time (thanks winter, you never fail to provide!) – the snow begins to melt, and some of it will slowly form puddles on the side of the roads. Want a free shower? Walk on the sidewalk during rush hour, and you will be splashed by ignorant drivers who speed up, because why would they be concerned about YOUR life, when their frickin’ chicken is getting cold in their house?

Isn’t Mother Winter lovely? I am crying writing this beautiful homage to this wonderful season.

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Blogging 101: Introduce yourself to the World

I’m about 5 tasks behind, and that’s not good. But, here I am! I started blogging about a year ago, after failed attempts at blogging during previous years. I started on another site, Blogger, with a photography blog – with a side of updates of my recently-watched movies and recently-read books. Yes, a failed, because I was too busy with school. I never deactivated my account, but I have completly forgotten my username.

Then, I met WordPress. I fell in love with WordPress immediately; it was my dream blog site. Why? Because, it looked professional and easy to use. It made me feel like I was contributing to the world, and not making a tacky attempt trying to build sophisticated websites using basic HTML and CSS – <center> </center> was not rocket science.

Thus, ‘This is who I am’ was born – wah wah (baby wailing sounds). Here’s my very first entry: https://worldruler007.wordpress.com/2014/01/12/totally-owned-by-spiders/

I decided to blog in order to share my writing style with others, in hopes of helping them overcome difficulties in life. I don’t tell you how to live your life, nor what your life should be like. I’m here to remind you that life gets better, and not to be afraid of showing who you are.

But who am I? I don’t think words can specifically describe me, because I am a lot of things depending on the day. What I can tell you is that I write poetry, I listen to 80s music and watch 80s movies. I also adore Audrey Hepburn, Enya, and the great Robert Downey Jr. I enjoy watching Lord of the Rings marathons (did I mention my sis got me an autographed photo of Sean Astin, and she made him record a  birthday greeting on video???). What else should I say? I love to smell good – that’s one of my biggest compliments. I do not swear and if I ever do, you know it’s because somebody crossed the line. I love penguins and I dislike spiders, but I am working on not killing them.

Getting to know me is never-ending, so come along and get used to it :p.

Unknown Squirrel

There he was (or she? Let’s just go with ‘he’), carefully stepping on the fresh coat of snow. The only creature to give signs of life in the never-ending winter. Mr. Squirrel prepared for his journey, across the street. Did he forget where he kept his nuts? Was this a sign that spring was nearby? What was he doing? Why was he there? To cheer me up, I bet. I said it, I’m partial to squirrels.

I glanced through the window on a sunny but extremely cold day – with frost on the frames – and eager to see this creature enjoy his life. He appeared out of nowhere and it caught my attention. He was brown and looked healthy – normal weight for a squirrel I suppose, but I’m not a veterinarian – and I tried to figure out what he was doing. He stopped when he heard cars coming, and he moved a step or two towards the snow cliff in the yard. It was a great moment for a photo, but I didn’t want to disturb him. He was on a mission.

He didn’t get any food from the snow. He stood on the cliff until the cars went by. Suddenly, he made a run for it; he tried to cross the street. “Good luck, little buddy!” I shouted in my mind. I hesitated to go outside and witness first-hand his victory. I almost did, but then he stopped on the edge of the sidewalk. The cars drove by and he went back to the bottom of the cliff in the yard. And then, he ran until his heart raised to maximum (or so it seemed).

A lot of cars drove by and I lost sight of him, but then he triumphantly ran up the snow cliff across the tree, and went up the tree he must have longed for. He made it, and I was happy.

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Calm Nostalgia

Stressful and tiring days are inevitable. How do you disconnect from your routine? Do you sit in silence, or do you blast music and dance like a maniac?

My calm comes with nostalgia, because what makes me feel better also reminds me of what isn’t here anymore. I lay on my bed and slowly run my fingers through my hair. I turn the lights off and drift away in memory to my grandparents’ place. I used to be the first one up and would stare into the ceiling during sunrise, until I felt the need to check on my grandparents and sister.

When I was a kid, life seemed so simple; school, homework, have fun. But now, it’s all about the future. Problems that once felt minuscule, are now chaos that sometimes spiral out of control. And why must I worry? I’m not immortal. I think I worry because one day I’ll have kids, and I want to provide them with the same sense of simplicity. Will that happen? I don’t know, but I can live my life and find out later.

I am grateful for the nostalgic memories, because it is a reminder of something good in my life. If they weren’t good, why would I miss them, right?

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤