Growing – A to Z Challenge

A to Z Challenge letter: G

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Growing

My two posts today have been about Growing up. I like to believe you can grow in at least 3 ways; height, age, maturity. It doesn’t mean we all do our growing at the same time or we all get to achieve it. I don’t know when I stopped growing in height, I still want to believe I’m getting a bit taller every year :p. For the curious cats out there, last time I checked I was 5’3” (or 5’2”). I don’t really care about height, unless I’m trying to reach for something that is high; I don’t like to grab ladders, it’s too much work sometimes (talk about laziness). In reality,science says I won’t get any taller, but my hip bones might get wider, and if you want my honest opinion, I do not give a flying… yeah that word I never say (I don’t swear).

Having said that, it brings me to the topic of ageing, and that my friends is something we will do until we die, so we better try to get used to it. I’m not afraid to admit that I do feel a bit old sometimes, and I get scared of ageing, not because of wrinkles or who knows what I’ll get, but because I want to achieve every goal I have. I’m doing my best to meet my goals and I have achieved some dreams, but I want to be able to do them all. Apparently, I do not look 26. I still get carded (which is an ego boost I suppose) and people think I look 20. Perhaps, I will appreciate this fact more when I’m in my 40’s and people tell me I look 30. I’m sure my wallet will appreciate me not spending money on anti-ageing products. I may have stopped growing in height, but I will always grow in age, and that brings me to the topic of maturity.

Maturity isn’t easily achieved, and just because you get older does not mean you suddenly become mature. I’m going to speak for myself on this one, because I know everyone is different. I think one does not realize when we achieve maturity, because we never really do. That’s the beauty of it. Everyday we grow in a different way, and get thrown life lessons at us from every direction, thus changing our perspectives, and hopefully for a better us. Today, I overcame my fear of bugs, I still fear arachnids, but I overcame something today. I grew today. I learned to appreciate a bug’s life (so cute like the movie :p). I have definitely become more responsible and learned not to dwell in my own sorrows, because there is always something better out there. I do believe things happen for a reason, and as impatient as I may be, now I choose to wait, as opposed to digging myself in a hole of anxiety (oh the teenage early adult years). Maturity isn’t about a sudden change of who you are, it is about accepting that you deserve a good life and embarking on the path that you deserve.

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

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A quitter: I’m quitting writing (A to Z challenge)

April Fools’!!!! I got you, didn’t I? :D. I had to do it, it’s a tradition in my prankster world :p. NO, I am NOT quitting writing. Never. Ever. So, let’s breathe!

As you may have noticed, I started the topic with the letter ‘A’ and that is because today the A to Z challenge has commenced. I have decided that my theme will be Random but Inspirational. I’ve always wanted to inspire and help people, and I’m going to see if I can convey that message through this challenge without diverting from my blog’s theme of ‘This is who I am’. Today’s letter: and the topic isn’t about quitting, it is about A mirror.

A mirror of high self-esteem

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As a little girl, I remember not being aware of how other people perceived me. I wore ponytails, an assortment of hair clips, and the then-popular stick-on earrings. My hair was well-groomed, my uniform was well-ironed, and every time I looked in the mirror, I smiled, I looked pretty. People taking pictures did not bother me, I would smile with food in my mouth, with mud all over my clothes, in the pool, while playing pranks on my sister, or while I watched my dad conduct experiments in the lab. I was assured by my family, relatives, and friends that I looked pretty. That’s what I heard all the time, and about everyone; my friends looked pretty, my plaid shorts made me looked pretty, my overalls made me awesome. I thought everyone was pretty…or so, I thought.

I was cunningly introduced to the low self-esteem demon. This self-awareness transition happened so subtlety, I didn’t realize I was becoming too aware of my self-image, until I was introduced to A mirror of high-self-esteem. I was at my best friend’s house for a sleepover, and it wasn’t until I was leaving that I noticed her front door mirror was “magical.” I looked into it and saw someone different, someone who had the body of a model. That can’t be me, I said to myself. But, my friend looked and she also looked like a supermodel. Why? We asked each other. The mirror was doing it, the mirror made us look more than half our size (literally). We giggled and named it, “the mirror of high self-esteem.” That was the moment I knew I had unconsciously been absorbing insecurities. If I was happy looking more than half my size, that meant I wasn’t happy with the way I looked. I became aware of how others were dressing, how they groomed, how they posed for pictures, and I forgot who I was. I didn’t like getting my picture taken, I had to “look good” in order for others to take my picture. I had become a trapped soul in the wrong world, where I thought I had to look a certain way. in order to be accepted and be pretty.

You know, it took a toll on me, so I threw it all away. It wasn’t from one day to another, but eventually, I stopped caring and became myself. I think I was myself all alone in the inside, and I was just trying to create a new shell on the outside. Of course, it left scars, and for a while I let myself be affected by others. Now, I just worry about looking clean, decent, and well-groomed, but for myself, not others. Yes, I still have insecurities, don’t we all? But, if I get a pimple, I don’t cry in my room for days. If I have a bad hair day, I flaunt it, I still go out. If you don’t like my hair, and that’s the reason you don’t want to be friends, then I don’t want you as my friend. Hey, when you go the Zoo, you don’t always like all the animals you see, right? Some like turtles, some like giraffes, but that doesn’t mean that they’re ugly if you don’t like them.

Everyone is beautiful, and I wish we could all be that kid who wasn’t afraid of anything, but the monsters under the bed (or closet). The one who’s not afraid to smile for the camera, to show off how good or bad they feel. Surround yourself with the right people, who will make you feel pretty every second of every day. You don’t need A mirror of high self-esteem to make you feel beautiful, but you should feel beautiful without looking into a mirror.

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Random Photo of the day #10…with a Story Starter!

Hey everyone! Did you take part of Earth Hour? I didn’t, I completely forgot about it :p – oops! But, anyway, it’s not like I don’t protect the Earth on a daily basis. So, to celebrate the beauty of this planet, here’s a photo of ME! Nah, just kidding hahaha. Not funny? Okay, fine.

I love marine life, I even considered becoming a marine biologist once (I wasn’t crazy). I love the mystery of it, we still have to discover so many creatures that live at the bottom of our global pool. It’s unnerving and it’s rewarding. Today’s photo of the day is of Jellyfish! Specifically, the Japanese sea nettle. They’re adorable and their delicate drift and alluring colours are the features that attract me to them. Enjoy! 

Story Stater: S/he was mesmerized by its stunning beauty, drifting in the depths of the ocean…

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❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Random Photo of the Day #9…with a Story Starter!

Hi everyone! Hope you’re doing awesome today :). I try to post these random photos everyday, but I apologize if I skip a day or so. I have so many things to post about that I like to give them a priority. I believe this is my 86th post since I started this blog in February – geez, I talk too much…or should I say, write, post? no? yes? maybe?

Today’s featured photo is one I created 4 years ago, about Earth! I’m not an environmentalist (just in case you think I’m trying to recruit you into a fictitious organization) . I just think we should protect what has been given to us — you know, I don’t go around the block evil laughing and ripping off the neighbours’ lawns when I’m upset.

But, moving on. This is what I wrote as a caption for the picture: “Earth. Our beloved Earth – though taken for granted by many, it is here to let us experience its beauty and everything it has to offer. It is a gift that many generations have experienced and taken advantage of. We must all appreciate what it has given us and take a moment to absorb its beauty in our hearts. Much like in this image I have edited, step around and touch its beauty that surrounds you. Look inside its beauty and breathe the air it still offers.”

 

Story Starter: S/he contributed to the beauty of this planet…

 

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Bonus!!! Here’s a shot from high altitude 😀

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Take care and enjoy the rest of your morning/day/night 😀

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Random Photo of the Day #2…with a Story Starter!

First of all, thank you to all of you for reading my posts! You are all wonderful! So, here’s a photo dedicated to YOU. I took it a few years back – I didn’t realize how interesting my life was years ago – on an ordinary day. I don’t remember exactly what I was doing, but it looks like I was on my usual walks around my neighbourhood (in Vancouver). All I remember is looking up at the sky and thinking, “Boy, that sure looks like a heart. I should take a pic!” So, I did! Nature has beautiful ways to remind you that the world has a lot of goodness in it. We all deserve to be happy and loved, and to think we are worthy; because we all are.

Your story starter is four words that you can use to write about something that is good about you, or that you love. You can comment, write or just think about it. I always say, “count your Blessings, not your mishaps”. There’s a lot of evil in this world, so it’s good to remind ourselves of the good within us.

Story Starter: I am… I love…

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Goodbye Vancouver

My Vancouver trip ended yesterday, and now I’m back in “sunny” Ontario! I always thought I love to overthink my life events, but I have realized it is simply me living life to the fullest, and being appreciative of what I’m given. This doesn’t mean I’m a happy camper all the time, but my life’s perspective have begun to change. I guess it is a good thing I try not to take things for granted now, but there is an overpowering feeling about becoming an adult. I’m 26, and I have passed by mid-twenties, and  it’s not like I changed my perspective as soon as I turned 26 — that’s not the type if wish you make when you blow the candles–but, it has been at least, a 3-year change.

It is a bit scary. Am I to think once I hit my 30’s, everything will start to go downhill? Will my hair go fully grey? I’d say probably yes to the latter. But, I have friends who are 30 and up, and they look happy and young. They definitely ease my fear of turning 30 (if I live to see it), and have inspired me to remain young at heart — mainly to get carded in my 30’s — and strive for a good future.

I know there is no point in worrying too much about ageing — I can always write about it — but it is my curiosity that makes me dig for answers. But, my trip has given me more than I could have asked for. I reconnected with my friends and saw my family — my sister and I played Mario Bros and towards the end of my trip, we didn’t die so many times! — I laughed more than I have the past one year, and felt so loved by everyone. I never realized I made such a positive in many peoples’ lives, so it was an eye-opener into who I really am, and how I am perceived. I’ve always wondered if I were to pass on right now, what kind of legacy would I leave. So, in a way it has given me a lot of peace.

I always give tons of credit to pilots who get me to my destination safely. The flight to Vancouver was great, but the flight back to Ontario was awesome! The skies were mostly clear, and the views were spectacular. During the flight ‘good guy’ pilot announced were going to hit a 10-minute turbulence — I almost fainted — but he changed altitude and the turbulence lasted about a minute or two! And to top it all, we arrived to Ontario about 15 minutes early.

I can’t ignore what happened to Malaysian Airlines. I was hanging out with my one of my best friends, the day before my flight, when I saw it on the news. It breaks my heart that this happened. I’m not afraid of flying, I’m just afraid of take-offs. So, seeing the news before I flew, wasn’t very reassuring. But, I hope the families get the answers and closure they desperately need. I have to mention this on my post, because I can’t pretend terrible things are happening in the world. The situation in the Ukraine is dire, and there is so much violence in this world. Sometimes, it is difficult for me to comprehend why people instill pain and fear. We’re supposed to protect each other and our planet. Life is a gift, so why are they misusing it? There really is NO point.

A lot of people ask, “Why pray?” Well, why not? There is so much evil in this world, we need to pray so people find peace in all this turmoil, so that hopefully, evil will vanish from this world. And if you don’t pray, that’s fine, too. As long as you join in the quest of amending the world, you can choose how you want to do it. Just remember, even when life gets tough, do not despair.

Here are some pictures from the flight. Look at the stunning view! Remember there’s still beauty in this world.

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PS: I’m working on a short story called, ‘Laura’s closet’. I thought about it during my trip :). I will hopefully post it this week!

Of course! The world doesn’t rule me today!

Aroma

Of pear and apple

essence of beauty

exquisite touch

of lovely Aroma.

~

Elegant contour

luscious among smooth canvas

repetitive emotions vary

but confide in Aroma.

~

Awakening a precious creature

from such dream delight

its majesty embraces

every new Aroma.

~

Leaving a trail of good memories

comforts your deepest sorrows

warming your soul

creating new Aroma.

~

Allows you to abandon

and cordially invite new moments

where you can imprint

your own Aroma.

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Of course! The world doesn’t rule me today! 

© Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to  Ellie and My name is Ellie and this is who I am, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. In addition, ‘Shares’ on social media may be used, providing full and clear link/credit is added.