You can only do so much research, before you trespass the boundary between who you are and who you may becoming. That is somewhat my fear, that if I try to live a bit like my characters, I may end up like them. Then again, I’m confident in who I am, but it’s still a fear.
Speaking of fears, I have begun my own research, in order to instigate my main characters’ fears. I slept with a lava lamp on for most of high school, and a plug-in light for most of college. Yes, I do not like the dark —somehow, I do love horror movies — but as of recently, I’ve decided to try and get over it. The thing is, when something bad happens, I still find it hard to sleep with the lights off (unless, I cuddle with my stuffed animals, shhh!)
I’m all for trying new things —except for seafood. After that calamari night, never again — and I thought I would use this fear to my advantage. After all, it is better than curling up in a ball in the corner. I’m basically trying to scare myself once in a while, you know, trying to believe there IS a monster in the closet or under the bed. Silly fears, but with positive results. It has inspire me to think about the dark parts of my novel. I’m circling it, which I shouldn’t, but I’m waiting for a bit longer to see if anything new comes my way.
I do have to say, I use my Ipod and turn on Netflix to help me fall asleep with the lights off. Curious enough, if a monster decided to appear, I’d beat it up…out of fear. In a way, fear unveils the courage you never thought you had.
How about you?
❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤