They ask: We all get jealous from time to time — what wakes the green-eyed monster for you?
Oh, heck! I think I’ve just felt the wrath of the green-eyed monster. It is a foggy and rainy day and yes, I’m jealous of whatever city has warm and sunny weather :p. In all seriousness, I think us humans will always feel jealousy, there is no way to change it 100%; however, it is definitely possible to control it and lessen the reasons why we become jealous. When I was younger —a long time ago. I’m 26 now — most of my classmates had plastic multifunction pencil cases, which were extremely popular then. I wanted one. How could I not have one and my friends could, right? I was determined to get it and tried to convince my mum to get me one. My mum, being the good parent that she is, explained how the pencil cases were not very convenient due to lack of space, but I didn’t want to listen. During our trip to purchase school supplies for the next school year, my mum found the multifunction pencil case, and before we purchased anything, she showed me the one she recommended (bigger and practical) and the one I wanted. Are you sure you prefer the plastic one? She asked, hoping to convince me not to get it. Yes! Please! Please! She asked me a few more times, but failed to change my mind. Well, she ended up buying it. You’d think that she was spoiling me, that she bought it to shut me up (I was a chatterbox so I wouldn’t blame her), but she was on a quest to teach me a lesson (I was old enough for it).
When we got home I opened it, but I didn’t transfer my supplies from my old pencil case. Instead, I wanted to flaunt it at school. I didn’t want to brag, I just wanted to let everyone know I had one, I was cool like them. Sure enough, my classmates loved my new pencil case and before class started, I decided to fill it with my pencils and erasers. You should have seen me, proudly grinning at the fact I got what everyone had. Then, it faded. Wait, how come nothing fits in here, I thought. I’ll make them fit. I know what I’m doing. How come nothing fits in this THING. Ugh.
At the end of the school day, my mum picked me up, and I exited the school doing the walk of shame. How was your day? She knew something happened by the look of my face. Ok, but the pencil case didn’t work. Can we exchange it for another one? I whispered. Same one? She asked. No, the one you showed me. She told me there was a chance they wouldn’t do the exchange, after all I really wanted the plastic pencil case. But, we returned to the store and my mum asked me to do the talking. Yea, hmm, I..I..want to exchange this? I asked. Want? Mum stared. May I exchange this? I asked again. Luckily, they let me do the exchange. As soon as I got home, I transferred all of my supplies to the new pencil case, and I was happy. My mum told me that there are times we want to do what other people do or what they have, but I shouldn’t strive to obtain things because I want them and to follow others. In addition, I should find what works for me and what I like. Sure, I liked the pencil case, but only because my peers had it, and it was not useful in any way. But, she reminded me that we all live differently and should be grateful for what I currently have. Also that we don’t know what life has given other people, and we don’t know why they have certain things or why they lack. She mentioned kids who don’t even get a chance to go to school,or even have the supplies to help them.
That does not mean I suddenly stopped being jealous and lived in everlasting perfection, but it stuck with me and I did learn a valuable lesson out of a pencil case situation. I don’t remember if it was that year or the years after, but during one Christmas I received two of the same toy, and I clearly remember as soon as I received them, I told my parents I wanted to donate one of them. A few days later, we paid a visit to some children and I gave them the toy. I helped them assemble it and they looked very happy. It felt so good to give back and I haven’t forgotten it to this day.
Of course, I still get jealous of certain things, I’m not perfect and I don’t expect to be. However, I have learned to control certain aspects of jealousy and whenever I get jealous, I tell myself the Blessings I have in my life at that very moment. Yes, it is hard, because you also look into the past and wonder what could’ve happened or what you could’ve had, but we must remember that those thoughts damage your soul. Everyone is different, and we must find the key that helps up bring ourselves back to our reality. As much as that reality may be grey, we still have a light inside all of us. Instead of looking backwards, look forward to the next day in your life, not in others’.
❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤