Love in Memories – Note One

I spontaneously wrote this a few days ago in 20 minutes. I didn’t want to edit, because I wanted to just pour my thoughts out, and leave it the way it turned out. I decided to share it and I hope to share for notes from it as I continue exploring this topic.

Title: Love in memories

 

A ripping pain overflows your veins, while you sit alone in agony. Reminiscing the fruitful moments and the lavishing gifts you once possessed.

 Where did all go?

You blame yourself for the present outcome. The guilt of what you lost, and where you could be right now does not leave your mind. It hurts, it strikes the deepest sorrow in your soul.

Where are you now?

Everything is empty and the world doesn’t make sense. The place where you are sitting is where everything will come together.

How will you move forward?

There is no clear starting point, but you can begin to gather leftover,s of any will you have to live. This is how you will resurface – or so you think – but all you have left to do is decide whether or not it’s worth moving forward.

You affirm to yourself that it doesn’t end here, but you have nothing around, except yourself. Where are you catching the inspiration from? There is one thing that you didn’t think you could count on, and that is your memories. You believe all the memories you have serve no purpose, because all you want to remember are the bad memories. There is one thing you overlooked and that is the love that you can find in them.

 

 

<3<3<3 Love, Ellie <3<3<3

My latest Poem: “Reaching for the tallest branch”

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The words disperse,

and her heart rapidly beats;

as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

It’s not that it is unknown,

it is that she realizes what she once dreamed about

became her present reality.

~~~

The touch, the unbroken promises,

and the assurance that they are whole. 

She exhales, she hopes,

as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

The denial that absorbs her insecurities,

she knows in her mind she will fall again,

what can reassure her?

Just herself, as she reaches for the tallest branch.

~~~

and the fear of freeing her patched up heart. 

~~~

An apparition that signifies the start of a journey,

that is freeing her patched up heart.

After many failed attempts at healing damaged chapters.

What, if anything, is left for her to give? 

~~~

An unfair question to herself.

~~~

It is this moment when she becomes aware,

that everything she is has never left

and the emotional beating was the wall she created.

~~~

What now?

~~~

She once looked in the mirror, in a dream, as an elder.

She faced fear, regret, everything she didn’t want to become.

It haunted her, until she set on to stop it from being her reality.

~~~

She lets go,

she opens up,

she loves again.

She reaches the tallest branch.

<3<3<3 Love, Ellie <3<3<3

 

Last Memory

A poem I wrote tonight. Photo is a painting I made. Enjoy 🙂

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In all the times you were gone

I searched where you weren’t existent

unaware of your presence, where,

our known emotions had gathered.

~~~

In a happenstance your feelings came to fruition;

Why were you hiding? Why so afraid?

At my awareness, your retraction, and my bemuse reaction,

all we said were stares.

~~~

If going back to what we were, became the intention;

Why the silence? Why the smile?

What we chose once was the place you distanced from.

I stuck and waited, with denial as my saviour. 

~~~

There are no more words that can vanish what hurt,

but that one action healed what I never thought was possible.

And it replayed in my mind; 

the smiles, the songs, the rhythm of our nights.

 

Somewhere

Hi everyone! It’s been a while. Here’s a poem I wrote yesterday. Hope you like it :)!

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Somewhere amongst the clear faces. Somewhere along the walk.

Somewhere between the laughs and the talks,

where that one speaks to you.

Is it the conscious or the desire? Could it be that she wants that truth?

~~~

The stars connect and the unspoken words,

unwrap and they are once again whole.

Said truth unveils in dreams as they come

why can’t she get that there is none?

~~~

She sees what that one could have become,

she grieves that the chance is gone.

Above where choices fail to align

and a world where they are just one

it haunts her heart and stings her soul,

he is where he wants to be.

~~~

She is lost where she once had no hope,

yowling on the broken grounds

where arms holding her up to rise

with painful realistic thoughts.

~~~

She looks and smiles at the helping arms

that softly help her escape

she walks beside of what she let go

while hearing his voice once again.

~~~

Skip through the torments, the laments and the tears,

and forward to the time to heal.

He is where he wants to be,

and she found where she belongs.

 

My mind, the land of ruckus

Sometimes I look up at the stars and imagine living in world outside our planet. The galactic imagery is suddenly crashed by the ups and down of my life; also known as, being hit by reality. Is it because I have the mind of a writer that I think my life evolves as the like of stories? It gets overwhelming and it’s worse when you have people constantly putting you down. You get one chance at life, just one life and if you’re lucky you live up to 100. What legacy am I going to leave? Why can’t some people believe in me and influence me in a positive manner? Why does it affect me? Does this happen to you?

prc

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

 

It’s been a while…

…a long time since we have last spoken. Well, since you last read any new entries. A lot has happened since last summer; heartbreaks, chapters that have been since closed. I have been preocuppied with work and finishing my novel and poetry book – yes those are still a reality. I told you I would never give up :D! Here’s to say I’m sorry for not updating in a while and I hope you’re looking forward to my new entries. In the meantime, here are some new photos I’ve taken and also follow me on my instagram and comment :D! My instagram: worldruler007

 

Sorry (Canadian style) for the M.I.A.

Hello my fellow bloggers!

I have been quite absent and I’m sorry (Canadian style) I haven’t posted a lot. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail, but I have gone through heartbreaks and nonsense, which completely drained me emotionally (I stopped listening to Enya for a while. That’s how bad it was! You know I love my Enya), while still putting on a brave face for my loved ones. I needed time to recharge and find myself again! And here’s a heads up. I’m going home to Vancouver in September, which I’m happy about :D! And to add on to that, I am going paragliding…yes, I am going to jump safely out of a mountain! LOL. The reactions I got were hilarious, but they all support my crazy decisions. But, hey, the decision is not that crazy haha.

Me: I’m going paragliding. 

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My friends’ reactions: 

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My family’s reactions:

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Needless to say, it is going to be epic! That’s who I am and I’m not going to change. By the way, I am listening to Enya again and I joined instagram (shocking, I know):  worldruler007

Ta ta for now!

❤ ❤ ❤ Love, Ellie ❤ ❤ ❤

Poem: Along

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On watery paths one strolls to clarity,

as a way to seek what flows within.

Through fog one tends to plead abundantly,

to grasp the right point to begin.

~~~ 

Blindly one reaches to find the trigger,

knowing the future holds no promise.

Of torn veins, and one is left to linger,

and push assurance into darkness.

~~~

A solace’s call disguises merits,

while effort ends a valuable connection.

One can burn attacks in spirits,

when succeeding with the right selection.

Writing 101: Three most important songs

I’m 27 years old, so you probably expect me to pick a song by Nicki Minaj, Lady Gaga, or some random modern artist. But nope, I’m not sharing my buns with your anaconda or whatever vulgar word you fancy, nor am I sharing any poker faces, or having a bad romance with you.

I don’t listen to rap, personally. If my friends do, then I just have to listen for… moral support? If that makes any sense. They all sound the same to me, even though they probably don’t. If you make me listen to the same song, I will give you different artists’ names on different days; one day I’ll guess Chris Brown, and another day Drake, and other days Pitbull. I don’t even know if Pitbull raps. All I hear is his voice shouting something in half Spanish. I don’t know, music nowadays is a bit weird. Except for One Republic and Coldplay. They get a pass, just because.

Here my 3 picks.

1) Don’t Dream it’s over by Crowded House – Whenever I want a bit of motivation, I listen to this song; it can be interpreted in many ways. I know not everyone knows who they are, but then again, I don’t know who a lot of artists are in the present time. This my friends, makes us even 😉

2) Everything Enya! Ha ha ha. Yes, not exactly a song, but it’s hard to pick one Enya song. Please don’t make me choose! It’s like asking me whether or not I want to see Robert Downey Jr’s abs. Here a few songs I think you should listen to:

-Wild Child

-Caribbean Blue

-Storms in Africa

-Only Time

-May it Be (aka one of the Lord of the Rings songs)

3) All the right moves by One Republic. If you listen to the lyrics, it’s very true.

4) Because I want to rebel, my number 4 pick is ‘Paradise’ by Coldplay. It’s one of my theme songs.

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